Reality and Madness, Illusion and Sanity
by Figgy
Summary: Slight AU---What if what you believe is madness is actually the only true sanity you have left to cling to? Centuries after the exploits of The Slayers, Filia finds herself haunted by voices she doesn't recognize and dreams she cannot escape...
1. Reality

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers nor any of its characters **_

Author's Note: This is mostly an AU fanfic--it takes place years after the anime in a mostly modern world--the only difference being that magic is still slightly in use, but its held in a different light. I'm not at all familiar with the novels or mangas, so I'm sure a lot of my characterization/info is just plain wrong--which is one of the main reasons I'm labeling this AU.

Pairings:Mostly Traditional w/ the addition of X/F

_**Reality and Madness,**_

_**Illusion and Sanity**_

_**What if… What you believe is madness is actually the only true sanity you have left to cling to? And the dreams you scoff are a reality you've merely tried to forget? Then where does illusion end? In madness or sanity and how can you be sure which is which…?**_

_Chapter One_

_She slowly lifted her head and met his brilliant eyes; "I loved you… I really did."_

* * *

Among the rambunctious actions of her fellow classmen, Filia's statuesque silence and calm stood out. Around her, students exchanged high fives and tearful hugs while a few huddled in corners, sobbing as friends tried to comfort them. Her blue eyes took in the commotion around her, but she really didn't absorb it. These days she rarely absorbed anything. She felt as if she were trying to swim through sand, yet the sand was quickly turning into quicksand and the more she swam, the farther she sank…

"Aren't you gonna see your score?" The bubbly voice belonged to the girl standing at her right and slowly she turned her head toward the voice. Red hair… She blinked and focused her attention more closely on the girl, but was sadly disappointed. The red hair was sleek and short, her eyes a shining green, and her shape was definitely not flat… Filia shook her head and looked away, her feet carrying her through the crowds of people. Most moved aside for her to pass, their eyes watching her warily. She supposed they feared her… After all, with some of the stories floating around…

"Hey?" That girl was trying to follow… Filia kept her eyes focused ahead. Red hair… She blinked once and frowned.

It always reminded her of fire…

* * *

Her brother found her outside, sitting in the front passenger seat, her hands placed neatly in her lap. Always prim and proper… At first glance she was so damn proper… But if one just looked a bit longer, a bit closer, they might notice how she sat _too_ still or the bead of sweat that slid down her temple. For a second, he just stood there and watched her. He could remember when she'd smiled nearly all the time and forced him to endure hours of tea parties… He could remember how excited and nervous she'd been before the Junior Prom… She'd been so full of life, yet always trying so hard to be the proper little princess. It had never really worked; she was just too… Too alive… 

Or had been… Before the accident…

He opened the door and sat behind the wheel, "I thought you were inside."

She nodded, "I thought so." Her head turned away from him and she stared outside, her eyes focused on the school with the stream of students pouring from it.

He forced a grin, "At least, its Friday, eh?"

Filia merely nodded again and he sighed, focusing his attention on the car as he pulled out of the school parking lot. He glanced toward her then shook his head mentally. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was suppose to be the moody, rebellious one… Not her… Not that she was very rebellious, but she definitely had the damn moody part down.

Val glared at nothing as he drove them home.

* * *

Filia sat down on her bed, glad to be away from her parents' concern filled eyes. Where had that concern been when they— She didn't want to think about that… 

Her eyes traveled over the golden walls with their posters and average teen female's obsessions. She didn't particular even like that band, but her mother had thought… She fell back onto the pink and white bedspread, her eyes following the cracks in the ceiling. Perhaps she should mention them to her parents… But the thought was soon forgotten as she curled up on her side. She felt… Depression… Yes, that seemed the right word for it. Sorrow, despair, grief. They plagued her… And the pain… The loneliness. This feeling that she'd lost her purpose, her faith…

What a feast…

She ignored that thought, ignored the tiny voice that pondered on how such emotions could be considered a feast… She was quite good at ignoring herself… And the voices… The voices that spoke inside her head, the voices that appeared at such inappropriate times.

"_That's the Filia I know."_

She blinked and pushed the voice away… Strange how the voices seemed to believe they knew her when she didn't even truly know herself… Not anymore… Not after—

"Filia? Filia? Fi-chan?" He brother's teasing voice reached her from the door and she slowly sat up, forcing her feet off the bed and the blonde stood. "Fi-chan, dinner's ready!"

Her hand touched the doorknob.

"Come on, Fi-chan. Just answer me!"

And pain exploded behind her eyes.

"Fi-chan!"

Filia screamed as she fell to the floor.

Val had received his answer…

* * *

"_Sometimes… Sometimes, the thing we should really fear… Is ourselves…"_

"_What do you mean? Why should I fear the one person I can rely on?"_

_A broken sword lay at the woman's feet… All golden… Gold fire, gold ice. A sea that tugged and ripped and prodded and coaxed… Crystal eyes and crystal souls that broke with a glance… Shattered at her feet, all at her feet… Except the blood… The blood was on their hands… And there was a sea of it… To bathe in it, to drink it, eat it, chew, swallow, devour… Breathe it, live it, die in it…_

_A sea of red and gold…_

"Filia! FILIA! Damn it, Filia! LOOK AT ME!"

She blinked and stared as her brother shook her, her head dangerously close to the floor with each shake. The pain slowly subsided into a familiar dull ache and Filia raised a hand, "I'm fine… Val… Stop it."

The wild gleam in his eyes faded at her words and he pulled her close, only to have her pulled away by their mother, who was sobbing as she clutched Filia to her chest. Val felt himself being lifted to his feet by his father and struggled to regain control over his emotions. They were dangerous, he knew that… He was dangerous if they were allowed to become dangerous… He knew that…

"I'm fine." Filia spoke her voice soft and beautiful to the ears of those that so rarely heard it these days. "It was just… A migraine…" She looked nervous and panicky when her mother made another move to hug her and quickly backed away, trying to ignore the hurt she saw in her mother's brown eyes. "I… I'm just…"

"Come and eat, Filia." She looked up into her father's warm face and slowly nodded.

The family made their way downstairs…

A normal day in the Ryo family, Val thought bitterly.

* * *

"Do you think we'll ever be complete?" 

"We are complete!"

A sigh.

"Ok, fine… So we're missing something… But it can't be that far away!"

"How do you know, Miss—"

"How many times I gotta tell you not to call me miss!"

"Gomen nasai…"

"Any ways, I know because…" Dramatic pause.

"Sore wai himitsu desu."

"Don't interrupt me!"

Sigh. Sounds of fighting.

"I don't think we'll ever know now…"

* * *

Reviews would be greatly appreciated--especially constructive criticism, as this is my first foray into the world of Slayers fanfiction Thank you! 


	2. Madness

_Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of its crazy characters _

_**What if… The things you forsake are the things you'll truly need in the next battle to come along? Have you then survived one day only to die tomorrow?**_

_Chapter Two_

She supposed it was nearing two by now. The last time she'd glanced at the glowing clock it had been one… Filia blinked, her eyes piercing the dark to stare at her cracked ceiling. Perhaps she should paint it… Since she found herself spending more time staring at it than the walls or anything else for that matter. She blinked again; numbly wondering when the sun would begin its slow rise even though she knew it would start in exactly three hours, four minutes, and twenty-two seconds… This wasn't the first time she'd spent an entire night fighting off sleep waiting for the sun to rise…

Of course, this didn't mean she didn't sleep. She did sleep… Short naps usually and one really long sleep that popped up whenever her body and mind couldn't take the strain anymore. It was worth it… The sacrifice was definitely worth it compared to the torture that awaited her if she closed her eyes.

She couldn't dream. Dreams were her enemy… Not her only one, but her most dangerous. She could handle people… Handle enemies she could see and touch… Because you can hurt something you can touch because they can feel. But dreams… Dreams don't feel. She couldn't fight the dreams like a person or animal. No, the only way to fight the dreams were to not fall victim to them… And that meant less sleep.

It was worth it. Definitely worth it.

"_Tell me… Is… Is it all a game to you?"_

"_Why, you should know the answer to that by now, Fi-chan!"_

"Shut up…" She muttered, rolling over so she could place a pillow over her ears. Not that it would help. After all, the voices were inside her head. She knew that by all healthy logical reasoning, she was quite insane… Yet, would a truly insane person know they were insane? And if insanity was usually marked by a person not realizing it then was she insane or just… Just very, very weird?

"Shut up." Filia repeated and silence descended once more. Except for the slight whir sound her fan made as it spun around and around and around… She wasn't even warm… She pulled the covers closer and burrowed into the warmth of her bed. She just wished the sun would rise so she could get up… Getting up with the dawn was okay, but waking up her parents by walking around at two am was not. It was times like these she wished her brother still lived with them instead of buying his own apartment… She used to be able to tiptoe into his room and he'd calm all her fears and tell her that monsters weren't real and she'd believe him… In those few precious moments with him, she believed… Yet, even if he were here she knew she wouldn't get up and tiptoe into his room.

That would mean telling him… And she wouldn't ever tell anyone again…

Trust no one.

She blinked. When had she become such a cold, cynical person? Trust no one? She should be able to trust her parents and Val… But she couldn't… She couldn't trust them because they loved her too much and their love would betray her in the end. It wasn't their fault… It was hers… If she wasn't so… weird…

Strange. Unusual. Freakish. Insane. Mad.

She closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears that never listened to her commands.

I won't be sent away again… I won't… I'll die first.

_That's the Filia I know._

Shut up.

* * *

Curled up on the couch, a cup of lukewarm tea in her hand, Filia numbly nodded as her mother went over the day's plans. The TV was on, but she wasn't really focused on it. Just some commercial… Drab, boring, depressing… The blonde maiden sipped at her tea and nodded as her mother finished the long speech… It didn't bother her that much. She was used to long, pointless speeches… Somehow… Filia blinked and pushed that thought away as her eyes left the TV to lock onto her mother's face.

"So, your brother will be here soon and then me and your father will leave. Does that sound ok, honey? We can stay if you want."

Filia blinked again then slowly shook her head, "No. I'll be fine with Val-kun…" Someone knocked and both mother and daughter looked toward the door. "That should be him…" Filia looked away first as her brother entered the house and greeted their parents. It was a regular routine for the Ryo family… After all, Filia Ryo couldn't be allowed by herself except in dire emergencies. Always watched, always guarded.

"_Why can't I ever just be ALONE?"_

"_Because, the truth is, you wouldn't know how to handle that… You've grown used to them and their ways and for you, well they're your family, your friends, your anchor in this world. Without them, you wouldn't be just alone, you wouldn't truly be you. You care for them and love them and need them."_

"_How… What about you then? Who do you need?"_

"…"

"So, just me and you, huh? Anything good on?" Val joined his silent sister on the couch, watching her closely. Her wide blue eyes were focused on something before her and her lips had parted. A slight crack met his ears and he continued to watch as a jagged crack danced through the delicate teacup she held, the liquid sipping out and painting her trembling hand. "Filia? Fi-chan? It's ok. Everything's ok. No one's going to hurt you. Everything is ok."

Pale lids hid those bright, yet unnaturally dark blue depths and Filia licked her lips. Val took the cup from her limp hand and left to take it in the kitchen, returning with a dishtowel. He handed it to her and she opened her eyes as she cleaned the spilt tea off her hand. Not more than thirty seconds could have passed since he'd first sat down…

"I'm sorry." She finally whispered, not meeting his gaze as she stared at her elegant fingers twisting the towel. "I don't… I just don't… I didn't get much sleep last night…"

"Nightmares?"

A jerk seemed to go through her then she shook her head. "No… Just nerves… This is my last year of school and with finals… I never did see my scores…"

Val nodded, yet the wariness didn't leave his strangely golden seeming eyes. "I can understand that. I was a basket-case! So ready to get out and see the world, live my own life!"

"That would be nice." She murmured before looking up at the TV. Val also focused his attention on the TV and a low groan escaped.

"This again? You've seen this movie a thousand times, Filia! And it's an oldie!"

She frowned, then pouted. "I like this movie."

"But why?"

"I… I don't know… I suppose… I feel as if I can relate with her."

"Oh, that explains a lot." He rolled his eyes and she gritted her teeth.

"You don't have to watch it. There are other TVs in the house. I like this movie. Eliza is a wonderful character with emotions and… She's real, not fake like all the others around her."

"That voice guy's real." Val objected, watching as his sister glared at him briefly before returning her gaze to the screen. He tried not to smile at her antics, but found he had already lost that battle.

"His name is Henry Higgins and he's real, too… Just different… He's so focused on his mission, all he cares about is the bet, doing what he's been told… He's a rogue, the one that goes against the crowd… His arguments with Eliza and hers with his are what make the movie so intriguing! He doesn't even realize she's affecting him, that she's forcing him to give up some of his ideals of love and women till the very end when they come together in a strange, yet very them sort of way. The end suits their relationship… Their love or care or affection, whatever you wish to deem it, is natural. The opposites attract fits, yet they are not opposites…"

"But I thought she was a commoner while he was like royalty."

Filia rolled her eyes, "She is a commoner, but he's not royalty. He's just very rich, which makes him a gentleman though he doesn't act it in the least. There is one opposite. They come from completely different backgrounds. His, if he truly cared, would look down upon nearly any interaction between the common and wealthy, while hers always assumes the wealthy are after something when they lower themselves to speak to a commoner. It's one of the reasons the two so instantly don't get along. Their way of upbringing.

"Eliza assumes nearly every word from his mouth is an insult, mainly in the sense of her own…um… virginity, I suppose is the best word. She's always assuming he's hinting at something else when its actually only Henry's way.

" He's a sarcastic jerk that doesn't care what those around him think or want. He wants what he wants and anyone else can be damned. Of course, he doesn't realize this because the egomaniac believes himself to be the image of the perfect gentleman. He has the mind of a toddler, believing that just because he likes something than everyone should like whatever he likes."

"I think you've seen this movie one too many times, Fi-chan. You sound as if they're real people."

She watched as Eliza began to sing one of her favorite songs, the one about Henry's death… "Oh, but they are real. In every way they embody the image of the entire 'opposites attract' ideal. And that ideal wouldn't have lived or still be alive as long as it has if it wasn't true in someway. So they are real…The world is full of Elizas and Henrys. Now, shut up. This is one of my favorite scenes."

Val watched as his sister became entranced by the movie and shook his head. He loved spending moments like these with her, when for a brief moment she became the sister he'd once known so well… It was these moments, when her face moved and actually expressed emotion and her voice raised and spoke more than three words that he knew Filia still lived… Underneath it all, his sister still lived… And one day, she'd come back to him… One day, she'd come back.

He settled farther into the couch and turned to watch 'My Fair Lady'.

* * *

Filia pulled a book out of her locker, ignoring the noisy antics of the students around her. She quietly closed the locker with a solemn snap and turned to face the hall with its crowds of laughing and groaning teenagers. It would be such a simple thing to enter the throng… She knew most of the students before her… She had laughed with them, joked with them, gone to parties, danced, shopped, and been friends with them… But everything had changed after the incident… She had thought she could return and everything would be normal… But then she had noticed the looks, the whispers, and had realized that it could never be the same.

They feared her.

And it hurt… Even though she tried so hard to hide that she still felt anything… Tried to act like such an uncaring bitch… It hurt to see friends she had known for years watch her with suspicion and wariness when she passed. She had done nothing to earn their fear! So, she had exploded a few times and yelled and screamed… But most teens got into fights. It was nothing that unnatural… And she had done that even before the incident, yet now if she got angry she could sense the fear that radiated from them. She was unpredictable, they would whisper. She's not like others… She'll hurt you… Watch out for her…

It's always the quiet ones.

"You were suppose to be my friends…" Filia found herself whispering and felt eyes on her… Three girls standing next to her locker had stopped chatting to stare at the strange blonde girl that talked to herself. Rejected. Always rejected. She stared at the ground.

"What a freak." One of the girls muttered and the others laughed.

A freak. Rejected. A rejected freak…

"Hush!" Someone had joined the three, "That's Filia Ryo, you idiots! She might hear you!"

A feared freak. Rejected because of fear.

"That's her? She's the one that burned—."

No. She wouldn't allow them to reject her.

"Shut up! She's staring at us!" The four fidgeted as cold blue eyes fell on them.

She would reject them.

Filia walked past the group, trying to push down the emotions that welled inside… The burning heat of anger and pain… Heat…

"God, she gives me the creeps."

Filia faltered, nearly tripping as she stumbled forward… It happened so quickly that she barely managed to let out a breathy scream before the pain washed away all thought and suddenly she was falling… The floor was cold and her book slid across it, landing near someone's dirty sneakers… The pain exploded behind her eyes, like always, and darkness embraced Filia.

* * *

"_Look at the stars, Fi-chan… What do you see?"_

"_I see the stars. They are very beautiful, ne?"_

"_You see the stars. No poetic descriptions, no talk of guiding spirits, just stars?"_

"_They are beautiful without flowery prose… Many of the simple things in life are… People just try so hard to search for magnificent and rare beauties that they so often forget the ones around them…"_

"_And what of death, Filia? Is death beautiful?"_

"_I would be lying if I said no…"_

She awoke to see Val sitting beside her bed, his eyes not on her but staring over her… Distant, sad eyes… His face so haggard and troubled… And in that instant, she knew… He had betrayed her once again.

"I won't." She whispered and he jerked, his eyes darting to her form.

"Fi-chan… I… We…"

"I won't!" She struggled to sit up, surprised at how weak she felt. What had happened? She remembered those girls and heat and then another migraine attack… "No. No!" She fought against his hands as he forced her back into a lying position, his eyes so sad…

"It's the only thing we can do, Filia… Its not the same place, it's a school…"

She blinked, sending tears sliding down her pale face. "No. No. No. No."

"We've tried to lie to ourselves and you for too long… Yesterday proved that we can't. You have a gift, a power, and you need help with it… I tried… Before, I told mother and father that it wasn't just headaches and accidents!" He cursed, "I told them!"

His face, his eyes… "What happened?"

"I told them. I told them that things didn't 'just happen' around you. We all know that there are people… in the world that can do things… God, things so similar to what you do… They just wouldn't listen. I told them!"

"Val, what happened?" Panic stirred within.

"Nobody listened to me. Instead, sending you to that god-awful place. Mentally unstable! You're not unstable! You're just different, Fi-chan! And if they had just gone to this place in the beginning things would be so different."

"For the love of God, what happened!"

He met her gaze, "A fire… The, your school burned… To the ground…"

"No… No. Not again. Not again." Filia clutched the sheets of her bed.

"No one was hurt. Just a few burns, surprising considering… But… They saw, Filia… They saw something leave your hands."

"No. No. No. No."

"They said it was like a pole or stream of light… It just struck and the flames…"

"A lie. Has to be a lie. Can't be true. Won't be. Can't be. Don't let it be."

"No lie… Fi-chan, listen to me." He grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "You're special. You're one of them. Mother and father tried to ignore all the signs, but I didn't and now this… We have to, Filia. Everyone knows. You have to go. It's the law and it'll be good, Filia. You'll learn. You'll be taught how to control it and the migraines will stop and you'll be able to come home and live a normal life. With me. You can stay with me when you come back and we can go to Europe like you've always wanted."

Filia just sobbed harder, her eyes squeezed shut as she listened to her brother's frantic ramblings. Then suddenly she just stopped… Val's words died in this throat as she opened her eyes and stared up at him. "It's not true. I'm not a monster. I'm not one of_ them_. You and mom and dad are just doing it again. Sending me away because you can't handle it. I don't care anymore, but I won't let your lies affect me." She jerked away and turned her head toward the wall. "Go away."

"Filia, it's not a lie. Please, you have to—."

"Leave me alone, Val. Just go away."

He did the only thing his numb mind would allow him to do… He left her alone.

* * *

_Her eyes looked outward, taking in the blood-stained earth that surrounded them. Bodies that had once encased the souls of people she'd loved covered the ground. Her golden armor was stained black and red, her hair matted and wild around her, and her mouth was set in a thin line as she stared. The earth had been ravaged, upturned and burned, and it spread out before her, a wasteland of death. She brought her gaze toward her hand that held the mace she'd once loved so dearly, staring at the dull blackness of it… Its shine dulled by the blood that stained its spikes._

"_Captain…?"_

_She ignored the voice as she focused her eyes on her hands now… They were red and black, the blood still slick. She licked her lips and tasted blood. Blood everywhere… A sea of blood. She looked up and saw something in the distance… High above her and far away, yet she knew… A cape of night flowed behind the figure, a staff clutched in one hand in much the same way she held her mace. She could feel his eyes on her even though she couldn't see him clearly. Did he feel remorse, guilt, pride, joy, a sick pleasure from this scene? _

_Filia looked away and surveyed the field of battle. Such silence… _

"_Captain?"_

_Yet, the scent of blood. _

"_Twenty-four hundred casualties." She announced to the nearly cowering soldier that had strove to gain her attention. "It could have been much, much worse…"_

"_Ma'am!" He was shocked by her statement. "Worse! All those men and women are dead! How could it have been worse!"_

_She frowned as she leveled cold sapphires at him. "A demon of demons was among them." The soldier blanched as she continued on ruthlessly. "The Lord Beastmaster's pup was with them. If he had been ordered to fight, none of us would be standing here. He would have destroyed us with a mere wave of his hand… Or perhaps he would've played with us first, his black energy wrapping around our souls and ripping them free, our screams a serenade to his ears. Oh, it could've been much worse. As it is, we have destroyed at least a thousand of their own." She tightened her grip on her mace and lifted it, swinging it so it rested against her shoulder. "Regroup, we're returning to the main camp."_

"_Yes, ma'am…" The soldier watched her, his whispered words just barely reaching her sensitive ears. "That's just… She's not human…"_

_Filia Ul Copt smiled grimly, "Very correct. I am not human…" She looked upward, her back toward the figure that watched her in the distance. _

* * *

"Lookie, lookie, a newbie." A voice casually remarked from its seating position, perched rather dangerously on the railing of a balcony. Eyes fiery red watched, as a gold sedan parked before the large mansion, and a family of four exited. "Another wanna-be spoon bender?"

"Don't be cruel, Miss Lina." Amelia Saillune replied, joining her friend in watching the family below. "You know, they don't just let anyone in here…"

"They let Martina in."

A small iron table, chic yet simple, adorned the middle of the balcony, allowing room for the group of teens to sit or stand. Its smooth surface was covered with various empty snack food containers, three notebooks, and one sleeping blonde. Those within knew the figures occupying the balcony, as The Slayers. A close-knit group of friends, friendly enough, yet… Even stranger than most of the mansion's occupants, which was saying a lot when one considered what type of place it was.

Hidden in the sparse shadows, Zelgadiss's unusual, yet not unpleasant features were still obvious to his companions. He ran one blue-tinted hand through wiry hair, not even glancing up at Amelia and Lina's observations. His own attention was focused on the open notebook before him, various theories and equations neatly printed out. Beside him Gourry snored away, happily oblivious to all around him, even as Sylphiel tried to politely wake him up so she could retrieve her own book from beneath his blonde head.

"She only stayed a month, Lina."

"Long enough." Lina snapped, eyeing the scene below. "Which one?"

Amelia leaned over, "Maybe both."

"Coconuts…" Gourry sleepily interjected, finally lifting his head off Sylphiel's notebook. He blinked sleepily at the gang, saved from a rash beating by the sudden yells from below.

"Don't touch me!"

Instinctively, both males jerked to their feet and soon they all were leaning over, watching as a blonde girl screamed at the man with green hair. The man's words went unheard, but he reached for her, causing her to jerk away. The girl's shouts brought the parents around, their hands full of suitcases and bags. "Stop it! Get away!"

"FILIA!"

The green man had grabbed the girl and was shaking her, "I'm not afraid, Filia! I'm not! I know…" His next words were too soft to be heard from so high with normal hearing, but Zelgadiss's enhanced hearing picked up the whispered words on the soft breeze. "I know you want me to be. I know you're scared… Of this, of what you can do, of last time… But I swear to you, this isn't the same place and you are still Filia. The same Fi-chan," he paused to brush a tear aside, "that pestered me to play dolls and tea party when we were younger. You would never hurt me."

"Val…" She swallowed and looked away, "It's better if you let me hate you. It makes it hurt less."

"Then hate me."

"The Ryos, I presume?" The new addition was a tall, purple-haired woman, her stance sure and confident as she approached the family… And it was this that ended the little spy game the five above were enjoying so much.

"S-s-sis!" Lina managed to stutter before bolting off the balcony and inside, grabbing Gourry as she did. The rest followed, Amelia trying to convince the redhead not to fear Miss Luna, while Zelgadiss merely picked up his material and left—going in the opposite direction of the terrified Lina.

Only Sylphiel remained behind, her sweet gaze meeting Luna's even from so far away. She smiled once before turning and also entering the house, heading in a direction different from her friends.

* * *

The room Ms. Luna Inverse had shown Filia Ryo was slightly bigger than her one at home… The bed was plain, her cover and blankets lying in a neat pile near her feet, along with the rest of her bags. She had been standing in the same position for nearly an hour and a half. Her parents had left three hours ago, after receiving a pleasant, if somewhat strict tour of the large building. She had barely paid attention thus meaning as soon as she stepped outside she would become lost within the catacombs of the mansion turned school.

A school… That's what they called it this time. A school to teach her how to control her supposed powers. At least, last time they had honestly called it an asylum.

A quiet knock interrupted the silence Filia had strained to fill both her room and mind with. The knock was repeated, once again softly and daintily, then louder… Filia remained expressionless and still, as the door finally opened revealing Ms. Luna and a girl. "Filia Ryo, this is Sylphiel. Come with us." The woman turned, completely expecting the young woman to follow.

For a minute, Filia stood there, her eyes on but not really seeing the girl waiting for her. She was pretty wearing a modest yet close-fitting purple sweater and jeans, her long purplish hair pulled back with a headband. But there was something utterly commanding in Luna's tone, something strangely kind, yet brooking no arguments and suddenly Filia found her feet moving past the girl and down the hall, soon only a step behind.

"I am sure that you are wondering what exactly we do here. We teach. We teach people with gifts like your own how to use them and harness them. Some stay to learn total control, those who wish to continue using their powers while others merely learn the control necessary to not use them." They entered a large room, various tables and desks situated here and there, most accompanied with a computer. A wall of shelving housed books that at one time would've interested Filia, but now merely received a surreptitious glance. Luna continued walking, leading both girls to a smaller adjoining room. Painted gray and with little decoration other than a large blue mat leaning against the far right wall, it seemed to serve little purpose in Filia's mind…

"To do that, we have to know what to train you for. I introduced Sylphiel, now for why she is here." Luna nodded toward the girl…

Sylphiel smiled sweetly, "Hello, Miss Ryo."

"What are you going to do?" Filia asked archly, suspicious of the innocent-seeming Sylphiel and self-confident Luna.

"Sylphiel reads auras. She can tell how powerful a person is, if they hold any power by simply being in the same room with them. With her help, we'll be able to assign the proper mentor to you and get you ready to learn control. Now, Sylphiel?"

Luna fully expected an answer, however all she received was a confused expression from the girl. A slight glow seemed to be emanating from Sylphiel, yet the air around Filia was empty as Sylphiel reached out blindly, searching for any sign… Of anything… Yet, there was nothing there. The girl standing before her was as normal seeming, as…well…any normal human not living there.

"Miss… I don't… There's nothing there."

Filia's eyes widened, then slowly she smiled. "I told my parents. I tried telling you when I first arrived. There's nothing unusual about me. No powers, no gifts."

Luna frowned, her eyes hidden by long bangs, as she eyed the blonde before her. If it was true… But… She had so been hoping…

The smile widened, as Filia studied her own hands. Perhaps she was normal… Maybe it hadn't been her, but somebody near her or even a faulty gas line… Whatever it was, she was free. These people had set her free. If they couldn't sense anything then there couldn't be anything there. Maybe even touch without worrying…

No… She wasn't stupid. Maybe they didn't sense anything, but something was there. That crawling, seeping insanity that burned… It would always be there… The smile slowly faded, her hands falling as if they weren't her own… Just falling and swinging into place…

And by mere accident, a shred of fate or destiny, her falling hand grazed against Sylphiel's…

The explosion threw Sylphiel back… Or at least that was how it felt… Raw power, twisting and seething, brighter than any light she'd ever seen, brighter than the sun… Colors and a touch of satin and steel and so bright, so strong. Hidden away within…

Sylphiel gasped, the reaction taking a mere second, but passing like a lifetime before her mind's eye. "She's…" She swallowed, glancing at Miss Luna. "She's hidden it inside."

"Inside?"

"What do you mean? I don't have anything inside."

"I'm sorry, Miss Ryo. Inside, Miss Luna. I can only feel it through skin contact, like Xelloss-san."

Luna watched as Filia Ryo shook her head, her mouth moving as she debated with them, disbelieving as the truth was revealed…

And something akin to hope died within Filia's blue eyes.

She was a freak.

* * *

Eyes followed Filia, as she wandered through the halls of the expansive school. Students just hanging out stopped to watch her pass and the emotions she felt in their gazes forced the girl to wander deeper into the building… There was no fear. The people around her were merely curious, even friendly… She wasn't used to people her age looking at her like that… And in her already fragile state of mind, it was more than she could take.

Filia Ryo had grown used to people fearing her, grown used to the fact that she was quite insane and held a dangerous curse. She was not used to other people realizing this, other people knowing and not fearing because they were the same… But then again they weren't the same, now were they?

Even in a school of freaks, I'm still different…

"_She's hidden it inside."_

According to Luna, only one other student had been able to accomplish what Filia had managed to do and that was a man by the name of Xelloss Metallium. Whatever this 'power' was, she had somehow forced it within her body, instead of allowing it to merely form around her thus creating an aura. Such raw power was dangerous held inside and, as Luna had explained, was most likely the reason for Filia's painful headaches whenever it was unleashed.

Because of this, Luna knew the perfect and only mentor available for her, the same woman that had trained Xelloss, his mother, Zelas Metallium.

Which meant she had to stay in this place. Trapped again with no escape… Because even if she did leave, where would she go? Her parents would just send her right back if she tried to return home and Val would probably do the same, feeling that this was for her own good… She had seventy dollars and some spare change saved, but that wouldn't get her very far.

So, she was trapped.

But perhaps…

Perhaps it was time to accept the fact that she wasn't normal and never would be. Accept and learn whatever this Zelas had to teach and then leave. Luna had said not everyone stayed to learn how to actually **use** the supposed 'gifts', just mere control was required and Filia definitely didn't want to learn how to use what she considered a curse… But if they could teach her how to control, teach her how to be normal then maybe she could leave one day and continue her life, a normal life that didn't include painful headaches, strange fire-beams, or voices that haunted her mind.

Of course, the voices might not be related… She hadn't mentioned them to her parents or Luna. It was bad enough that she was forced to go to a school to learn how to control freakish powers, she didn't need to add in her sudden bursts of insanity. The voices had to remain a secret… No one could know about them or the nightmares… No one.

_Now, that is a secret!_

A frown marred her features, as she hurried through the building, her eyes shying away from the other students'. She couldn't handle this. So many people, all freaks like her… All of them watching her with such understanding and caring. She couldn't allow herself to believe any of it, to fall victim to the lies of other humans. Not anymore, not after this last abandonment by her family.

Her feet carried her around corner after corner, leading her deeper into the maze-like building, as her eyes continued to desperately seek signs of her new room. Its foreign silence was what her mind needed now… She just wanted to sink into the silence, close her eyes and disappear into the nothingness it offered. To run away from the terrible thing inside of her and hide from the constant voices that never gave her peace. To become nothing and always be nothing, with no worries, no pain, no emptiness…

No fear.

Hard stone brought her back to the reality of her situation, away from the great relief of silence and nothingness. The collision into rock shot brief shocks of pain throughout her body, giving her another escape from her twisted mind.

Until her gaze traveled toward the object responsible for the pain.

Deep, blue eyes, like the depths of some ancient sea, stared down at her from the shadows of a tan hood. Eyes of ocean blue that matched the skin glimpsed within the hood. Gray stone protruded here and there from his features, pebbles lining near his eyes, while hair too thick and with the gleam of metal hung around his face, shifting to hide one eye from view. He was a vision of fantasy and imagination—old magicks brought to life in a world of science. There was something oddly beautiful and terrible about the creature before her, something that pulled at her—as if he was the embodiment of the harsh, empty emotions that flowed within her.

Then it was hidden, as gloved hands pulled a flap of fabric across his face, so only those blue eyes stared down at her. "Watch where you're going."

She hadn't expected it to speak, especially with a voice so… Human. All masculine and stern, almost melodic and poetic, if you took away the brooding anger beneath the words. But it was human, so human a part of her wanted to cry for the wonder of it all… And the horror that perhaps this creature wasn't an it, but a human being… Beneath all that rock and wire…

A human trapped with a curse of his own making.

"_I wanted to be stronger, always stronger."_

Filia shook her head, blonde locks flying as the voices started once again. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

"Perhaps you would like a photo. Something to gawk at when I'm not here."

He was speaking again, that harsh anger growing with every word as she continued to watch him without speaking. Then she met his gaze and his next words just stopped… "I…" Her mouth opened, but the voices were screaming now—so loud and so many that she couldn't make anything out. "I…"

"_STRONGER--"_

"_POOR MIST--"_

"_NEVER DESERVED--"_

"_CURSED, FOREVER CURSED"_

"_NO CURE IN SIGHT--"_

"_STRONG--"_

"Oh, God!" Filia gasped, her knees buckling under the pressure of so much. They wouldn't stop, they just kept talking and talking and screaming and shouting till she couldn't hear her own self anymore and it hurt and it was more terrible than anything she had ever experienced before because they had always shut up before--Oh why wouldn't they shut up!

She reached out blindly and grabbed the rock man's shirt, catching her fall by slumping against his shocked form. His narrowed eyes had widened now, watching her with surprise and confusion—with a tinge of embarrassment as he was forced to hold her up to keep her from ripping his clothes.

"Zel!"

"Mister Zelgadiss! What are you doing!"

Zelgadiss…

His name was Zelgadiss…

And the voices stopped.


	3. Illusion

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers!

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate it! And you're right, Soobin---fire really is more of Lina's thing than Filia's, but when I was writing that scene I had that image of Filia from that episode where they're underground and she starts blasting all the falling rocks with laser breaths---and the whole burning down thing actually has a reason behind it which will eventually get explained Thanks so much for your reviews, your input is what's convincing me to continue on :)

Chapter Three

_**What if… your salvation lied in the hands of the devil? Have you found deliverance only to sacrifice your soul to hell? **_

Amelia had never once imagined that she'd see Zelgadiss holding another woman, especially when she hadn't even been able to overcome her own shyness and his, well, Zelgadiss-ness to be in that position. She had never imagined the possibility nor did she like the idea…

So, the scene of Mister Zelgadiss gripping a tall, pretty blonde was not one that she met with much joy… or understanding… or really much of anything other than an abundant amount of shock and despair… Could he have fallen in love with someone else? Would he never realize how she felt for him… would he never care… Would this blonde woman take away all her dreams and fantasies of love and happiness with her Stone Prince?

Not if she had something to say about it.

"Mister Zelgadiss! What are you doing?" The exclamation was followed by Zelgadiss releasing the woman, a gasp of surprise escaping her lips as she met with the hard floor. Lina was already beside the chimera, her eyes fiery red as she confronted the man.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Zel?ཀ Amelia's right there and you're playing hanky with some bimbo in the hall?ཀ You're this far from a fireball, Zel—just this far, if you don't start some fast explaining."

"Red hair…"

"Huh?"

The blonde was still on her knees, but she was staring at Lina now. Her eyes focusing on the fiery sheen of red hair that surrounded the girl's petite features. Filia's gaze traveled from the hair to the matching red eyes to Lina's lacking chest and something shone within the blonde's gaze—something sharp and ancient… That disappeared as quickly as Amelia saw it, only to be replaced by something almost as dark.

Empty eyes met her gaze before the blonde was pushing herself up. The woman was much taller than Amelia or Lina, her form and face all elegant beauty and grace… Already, Amelia could sense the envy radiating from her redheaded best friend.

"I'm sorry." She spoke to Zelgadiss, but somehow the words seemed directed at them all—even distracted Gourry, who didn't care what was going on if it didn't involve food or protecting Lina. "I'm sorry." Then she was rushing away, almost running away from them all—even pushing Gourry out of her way as she hurried to leave them all far behind.

Lina was the first to speak what was on all their minds.

"Who the hell was that?"

* * *

A week had passed since her parents had dropped her off at the school for freaks… A week spent alone, hiding inside her room, the silence only occasionally broken by the presence of Sylphiel bringing her food or Luna, who merely came by to tell her that Professor Metallium and her son were both on some sort of vacation or business or something—she hadn't really been listening—and would be back soon… Soon… But till then, no classes… Just get used to the atmosphere… The people… Her new life…

She hadn't left her room since… The food usually was left untouched, only picked at here and there… And her eyes grew slowly accustomed to a new ceiling to stare at while the night hours ticked away. There were no cracks in this ceiling, just a simple spinning fan that made a screechy whining noise after four spins… Her clothes and personal items still remained packed; she merely rummaged through them for new clothing and toothpaste whenever she felt the need to actually pay attention to such trivial details.

Perhaps if she tried hard enough they'd forget about her… One day they'd stop bringing food… Stop checking on her… Just stop completely. They'd forget she'd ever come here and she could just fade away, fade away into the dark silence that was only disturbed by the fan's screech and her own breathing.

If she focused her attention hard enough on that thought—on the ideal of silence, the voices weren't so loud… And she'd do anything to stop the voices, especially since the meeting with the strange guy named Zelgadiss… They had never reacted so loudly, so terrifying till that moment…

Till the sound of his name had silenced them…

She was curled up on the bed—its pristine white sheets still covering its form, her comforter and own sheets still lying beside the unopened boxes. Her eyes were open, staring at the simple white door that led to her bathroom. A separate room and bath… Her parents must have paid a small fortune for her to get so much privacy…

The door opened, Luna's familiar stride entering the room, as she closed the door behind her. Filia could always sense when Luna entered the room—the woman's entire being radiated power and strength. She pulled all the air out of the room and filled it with her own sense of self-worth… Filia's mouth fell open, as her breathing quickened—but remained almost unnaturally quiet.

"Filia." Luna didn't stop walking till she'd reached the bed. "Get up. No more laziness. Your teacher is arriving in an hour. I'd advise you shower and dress. I'll be back in exactly an hour. If you are not ready, you will not enjoy the consequences."

Nothing. Filia merely lay there. Breathing.

Something flashed beneath Luna's gaze, her bangs hiding her watchful eyes. "The sooner you meet Zelas, the sooner you may leave. Filia. Filia…"

Silence.

Luna turned, walking away as seriously as she had entered. The door was nearly closed, when she heard the barely audible voice of Filia from inside the white, white room.

"An hour…"

It wasn't a question. So Luna didn't treat it as one. "I expect you to be clean, at least."

* * *

An hour later found Filia freshly scrubbed, her long hair pulled back in an easy ponytail. Her clothing was simple, neatly pressed khakis with a simple pink shirt. She had applied a simple layer of lip-gloss… Her breath was minty…

She wore no socks. She hadn't been able to find the box they were in.

Luna had appeared the second an hour had passed. She had merely given the silent girl a quick look-over, grunting her approval before walking off—again, knowing Filia would follow… Knowing she had to follow.

Their walk didn't last long, ending quickly within the confines of a neat office. It reminded Filia of her principal's office… Neat, mahogany desk with the appropriate little items of sentimentality… But it all rang false to her…

The woman standing behind the desk rang false, as well…

She was shorter than Filia by a few inches, but tall stilettos made it seem as if she towered over them all. Cascading waves of golden blonde hair curtained a face that would have made a model envious. The woman was beautiful, Hollywood beautiful, with a perfect little nose and perfect violet eyes with long, long lashes and a perfect rosebud mouth. The face suited the small waist and long legs—all encased in a chic black skirt suit. Golden bangles jingled as the woman moved, the jewelry surrounding both wrists and her right ankle.

She was perched on the edge of the desk, as they entered; her right hand lingering over the smoking remains of a long cigarette—like the kind Filia remembered her great-grandmother smoking, all 1920's style with a little black, gold rimmed holder. Her perfect mouth broke into a perfect smile when she caught sight of the two. Her teeth were white, white to Filia's eyes… It reminded her of a wolf's grin, like when the wolf tricked Little Red Riding Hood.

Filia had always hated stories involving the Big Bad Wolf.

And, instantly, she knew she didn't like the woman smiling at her.

"So, this is the Filia _Ryo_ I've heard so much about." She put an unneeded emphasis on the last name. It just made Filia like her even less… There was something **_wrong_** about her…

"Filia, this is Zelas Metallium. She's to be your mentor for as long as you need stay here." Luna nodded at the woman, "Zelas. I leave the rest to you." Without another word, the purple haired woman was gone… Leaving Filia alone with the blonde bombshell that gave her a bad taste in her mouth.

"Luna never was one for meaningless conversation." One tan hand motioned toward a nearby chair, "Do sit, we have so much to talk about."

"I'd rather stand."

"You can speak." Zelas's smiled widened, "Very good."

"You're going to teach me?"

"Right to the point." She slid off the dark wood, standing gracefully before the younger blonde. There were at least a few feet of space between them, but Filia suddenly wanted it to be much farther. The woman was making her sick—her stomach ached more and more every second that passed within Zelas's company.

Filia waited for another response, but Zelas's catty gaze only continued to watch her. Her hands were beginning to feel clammy, her forehead was sweating… Second by second, moment by moment, the world seemed to be spinning slowly… Darkness edged along the lines of her vision, her stomach rolled and twisted—and her mind…

The voices were whispering… But quietly, as if they feared this woman, as well.

Something inside of her snapped at that. Fear this woman? Fear Zelas Metallium!

The idea made her sicker than the woman's actual presence.

Suddenly, that smile flashed at her and Zelas's hand was on her arm, gripping her. "Walk with me, Filia. I want to learn all about my new student."

Walk with me…

She'd rather have been dropped in a pit full of poisonous snakes and hungry lions.

* * *

She dragged her feet, as they walked. The insides of her shoes were sticky, the lack of socks uncomfortable and slick, and dragging them made her feel the slickness even more, but she continued to drag. Hopefully, the woman holding her arm would become tired of slowing down every five seconds, of the slight hop skip that had to accompany her walk, as she was forced to adjust to Filia's dragging feet… But no matter how much she tried to shake the woman off, Zelas merely seemed to cling harder.

It burned where her fingers gripped Filia's arm, burned with such fierce disgust that it made Filia's teeth grit together every time she became more aware of Zelas's flesh against hers.

"Where are we going?" The words were clipped, anger edging them. Filia gave up on the pretense of politeness and jerked her arm away from the supposed mentor, taking a few steps back—anything to distance herself from the woman that made her so angry with just her mere presence.

Red, red lips turned upward into a feral smile, "Merely a small tour of where you will be spending much of your time for the next year or so."

"Year!"

One manicured finger was shaken at her, all disappointed mockery, "Didn't listen to Luna, did we?" The smile was still there, all white teeth and red lips, then it was gone as Zelas turned away. "Come along, darling. We're almost there. Perhaps we should work on your stamina, some exercise maybe?"

Blue eyes narrowed, rage setting Filia's lips into an angry line. Her fingers were curled into tight fists, nails stabbing into her skin as she struggled to control the instinct of lashing out, of shouting and screaming—of destroying the smug woman before her. Her feet no longer dragged, as she followed Zelas, instead they were jerky steps, her feet raising too high as she marched behind the woman causing so much emotion within her… More emotion than she had felt in months…

Emotions that she could've continued just fine without.

They entered a room soon after and Zelas waved one hand with flourish, as Filia slowly took in her new surroundings.

The room was split in half—one side reminded her of a living room with a fluffy couch of black leather and a fireplace with a wood-back chair upholstered in purple—it was Victorian designed, the chair and fireplace and the small rectangular coffee table—even the little decorations, all Victorian except for the black couch. The other half was much more remarkable. It was like walking inside a bubble. The other side was secluded by some sort of silvery material Filia didn't recognize, with a large metal door leading into the rectangular seclusion. The material was slightly see-through, allowing her to peer into a blank room filled with mats and padding.

It reminded her of an asylum…

It reminded her…

"_You must understand, we are only doing this for your own good. We have to rid you of these terrible delusions. You must regain normalcy, you must gain the strength to fight your lunacy, and the only way to grow strong is to endure. You must endure, Filia. Begin the treatment."_

_And then the screaming, always the screaming. It never ended, never stopped, always went on and on till she couldn't remember a time there wasn't the screaming. Couldn't remember a time when her throat wasn't raw from the yelling and screaming and her eyes were sore from the tears… So many tears, enough to fill an ocean… And then the ocean dried up and the tears stopped… No more tears, but her throat still bled… And the screams went on and on and on and on—_

"Are you cold?" Zelas's voice sent a jerk through her body, dragging her mind away from familiar memories, memories more horrible than the dreams or voices because she knew the truth of these memories… Could still feel the cold hands on her, hidden inside a slick layer of thin, slippery gloves—the kind kids would blow into strange hand balloons… Doctor gloves…

"What?" Filia turned wildly toward the voice, her eyes wide and startled as she met Zelas's arrogant features. "No. No… I'm fine." She glanced once toward the strange bubble room and repressed a shudder. "Are we done? Can I go?"

"Of course not. We have much to do, much to work on before we are done." The amusement disappeared, replaced with an expression of stern seriousness. "Your training will be difficult and you will very likely grow to hate me and everything we do." A slow, sardonic smirk stretched her lips, her blonde hair falling forward, hiding her eyes from view. All Filia saw were those red lips twisted into a smile—a smile that made her skin crawl. "You'll come to find that I don't mind hate so very much. It's such a stimulating emotion.

Everyone at this _school_," she made the simple word reek with sarcastic humor, "can do things, special things. They are born with the ability to manipulate their inner strength and use it to change the world around them. Call it telepathic abilities, magic, or freak accident—it is here and a part of them, a part of you.

This 'power' cannot be completely explained, though many believe it to be connected to the mind. You'll find that many of the students here are highly intelligent and incredibly eccentric. Wherever it comes from, its continuous existence forms a barrier or aura around its holder. The power surrounds them, like cloaks of energy—it flows around them and within them. It is a constantly changing thing.

Which brings me to you. Where your power should be flowing, it is being held in tight seclusion. You have managed to gather all that energy and trap it within yourself, forcing it away—and by doing so have created various problems for both yourself and the teachers here. There have been only a few cases like yours and only one has ended well so far. The power will eventually destroy you from within. It will burn you away so that it can flow freely.

It must be released. You must learn total control or you will perish, and in the process most likely destroy anyone close to you at that time. It will affect your mind and body. It will devour you whole and will not stop with only you. Now, my darling pupil, do you understand the naughty mistake you have made?"

There was silence… Silence, as Filia stared wide-eyed at the calmly smiling woman before her. As the horrible truth of her words sank in… A part of her wasn't completely shocked by the outcome of what would happen if she didn't manage to control the horrible curse—already its affects could be felt in the painful headaches… Perhaps this was the cause for the voices… Perhaps…

But to have someone so calmly declare your death, your utter demise with such a tone… This woman didn't care. She merely seemed interested in the whole process, as if Filia were some sort of experiment.

"But your son—they said--."

"I did say one case hadn't ended horribly. My son was taught very carefully by myself. He has managed perfect control. And so will you."

Filia turned away her eyes squeezed shut, as she absorbed the woman's words. Then slowly, she faced Zelas, her features tight, as she struggled to control the tension in her body. "So, I have only two choices: suffer through your teachings or die insane." She took a step forward, tightening her stomach muscles to fight the nausea that threatened as she closed the distance between them. "Then start teaching, _Zelas_, because the sooner this is over, the sooner I'm free of you then the better." Another step and another till Filia was disgustingly close to the smirking blonde. "I don't like you."

Zelas's lips widened into a feral smile, "Oh, this _will_ be fun."

* * *

Four hours later, Filia realized she'd been wrong in saying she didn't like Zelas.

She **HATED** her.

Since her "training" had begun, she'd been poked, prodded, taunted, humiliated, and treated in a manner that continued to infuse her with anger. She nearly boiled with the emotion and as she grew angrier, Zelas seemed to grow more and more content, like a cat full of cream. Filia couldn't understand the woman, how could she remain so calm in the face of her constant curses and angry retorts. It was as if she enjoyed Filia's anger and took some sadistic pleasure in making her blood boil.

Whatever the reasons, she continued to irritate the girl with her teaching methods. The first hour had been spent answering questions about everything from her schooling to her private and entirely too personal life. The woman had enjoyed watching the girl's face flush red in anger and embarrassment, as her questions had trailed into the risqué. The girl was, unsurprisingly, something of a prude and had not taken her curiosity well.

The next three hours had been passed in torture, as Zelas had begun the mental and physical training that she said was essential. Filia had meditated, yoga-ed, run, jumped, and focused all her attention on idiotic little details like the color on a ball enough to last her a lifetime. Sweat poured down her body, her hair was wet and sticky against her flushed face, and she had long decided that she would hide Zelas's body underneath the floorboards of that very room.

The thing that infuriated the girl more than any of the torturous "lessons" was the fact that her angry outbursts were met with such sarcastic wit. Zelas enjoyed her anger, she enjoyed the curses and shouts, and she encouraged them with more and more demands… And the more Zelas taunted and enjoyed Filia's anger, the angrier the girl became until her movements were jerky and harsh.

And through it all, Filia gritted her teeth and continued to obey. Her anger had to be bottled, her body had to be pushed to its limits, because a terrible truth lied behind the beautiful woman's perfect little smirk. The fact of the matter was plain and simple and it grated Filia to even admit to herself, but the truth was she was afraid of Zelas. Pure and simple. Fear motivated her to continue the torturous lessons, for a raw fury of power that forced everything Filia was to pale in comparison lied within the pretty teacher.

Only once had she felt it during the last four hours and it had been once too many. One angry outburst had been too much, it had led to Filia nearly leaving when she had been stopped by… _Something_. Something had just suddenly surrounded her, a wave of power and energy that had poured into her from all sides, stabbing and pinching and tearing and ripping her apart from the inside out until it was worse than the voices, worse than anything she'd ever experienced before and… Then it had been over and Filia had been on her hands and knees, tears streaming down her face as she looked up into Zelas's smiling face.

"_Poor dear. You must have tripped. Here, let me help you."_

Somewhere within the building, a bell rang and Zelas clapped her hands twice. "Lunchtime. Two hour break," she spoke while walking, leaving the room before Filia could, "then you're mine again. Ta-ta."

Then she was gone… Leaving behind a sickening smell of wine and sweet smoke…and something else, something dark and disgusting and…

"EVIL." Filia's lips curled back in a snarl, as she let out one last yell of outrage before storming from the room.

* * *

Two hours… Two hours before she'd have to see that witch again. Filia scowled, her fingernails digging into her palm as she fumed down the hallway. Someone hated her. That was all there was to it. It wasn't enough that she was a freak or that voices continued to haunt her, but now she had to deal with that _woman_. It was like one long terrible nightmare… The world just wouldn't leave her alone, it just had to continue pushing and pushing---sometimes, she felt as if she was being punished, but what could she have done that was so terrible?

"Um, hello?" A hand gently reached out and touched her arm, causing Filia to tense and jump.

"What?" For a brief, terrified second she thought Zelas had changed her mind and had decided to hunt her down before her two hours were up. The fear was short lived, however, as soon as she looked down at the short, raven-haired girl standing beside her. The girl barely reached her chest, but was obviously nearly the same age from her…attributes…

"Oops! I'm sorry, didn't mean to startle you!" The girl smiled sweetly, a lock of hair falling into her innocent blue eyes. "I was just--."

Filia didn't hear the rest, the voices that had remained so quiet near Zelas had suddenly decided to rear their ugly heads once again. She stumbled backwards, one pale hand lifting to her head.

"_Justice is the only true path!"_

"_Stupid princ--."_

"_DADDY!"_

"_Stop evildoers!"_

"Are you alright? Miss? Miss!" Hands were shaking her, a concerned voice trying to override the chaos within her mind. Filia shook her head back and forth, struggling against the screams pounding against her temples. This had happened before… With the stone-man…. With Zelgadiss…

"Name…" Filia reached out blindly, her eyes squeezed shut from the pain, "Your name!"

"Huh?"

"YOUR NAME!"

"_JUSTI---."_

"_PRINCES---"_

"_WHITE LIGHT HE--!"  
_

"Amelia! My name is Amelia!"

Filia slumped forward; her head resting against Amelia's shocked form. Nothing mattered now… The voices had finally stopped… Tears pricked her eyes, pain shook her entire body and sweat beaded her temple. They were getting worse, so terribly worse… She couldn't bare to wonder what might have happened had the girl not revealed her name. In her darkest moments, this is what she had feared the most… And now, it was coming true. She was losing control…

"Are you feeling better now?" The voice was sweet and soft, a hand reaching up to pat her back.

Filia jerked, pulling away from the girl, and looking around frantically. She was on the floor, the two of them alone in the long hallway. A sigh of relief escaped her, as she saw no one else around to have witnessed her breakdown. No one, but…

"Oh, god…" She didn't want to meet the other girl's eyes and see the disgust, the distrust… "I am so sorry! I…I tend to have these terrible migraines… I'm very sorry." Filia began to stand and Amelia followed her example, watching her curiously. One thin, dark eyebrow arched in slight disbelief, the petite woman not believing the poor excuse. However, she quickly smoothed her features into a concerned expression, eyes sparkling innocently.

"Is your head still hurting? Here." For a second, time seemed to halt around the two girls, as one delicate hand reached toward Filia's forehead—the blonde's eyes widening at the sight of warm, white light flaring around the other girl's palm. Carefully, Amelia placed her glowing hand against pale flesh and Filia vaguely heard her whisper something soft and low before finding herself overwhelmed by warmth.

Then it was over, leaving Filia warm and content, her skin nearly buzzing with energy… Wide-eyed, she blinked wildly at the other girl, "What… How…?"

Amelia smiled and chirped happily, "Magic! Do you feel better now?" Numbly, Filia nodded, still overwhelmed by the energy flowing through her veins. She hadn't felt this alive in so long! The very air around her seemed to buzz with life, her body twitching with the desire to run, to dance, to fly… Her shoulder blades itched, phantom feathers seeming to drift over her skin, and in that moment, Filia wanted nothing more than to spread her wings and take flight—a crazy fantasy that for a second didn't seem so crazy…

"Miss? Um… Miss?"

"Huh…?" She jerked, fantasies of open skies and endless clouds fading from her mind.

Raven locks bounced freely around Amelia's pixyish face, "You're new here, aren't you? I remember seeing you arrive and then that day…in the hall…with Mister Zelgadiss…" For a second, a shadow seemed to pass over the younger girl's features, fading as quickly as it had appeared. "I would have introduced myself then but you were in such a hurry!" She struck a pose, "I am Amelia Saillune, a third-year resident! If you have any problems just call and I'll be glad to help!"

There was something utterly right about watching the girl stand there, one hand held righteously in the air, her eyes starry with each word, and Filia's heart suddenly ached…

"Thank you…" Slowly, a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, the act feeling almost odd. "My name is Filia Ryo."

Amelia's stance faltered, her eyes widening, lips forming the name with an almost reverent tone. "Filia…" Somethng distant and old peered past dark blue eyes, staring up at the blonde with a strange expression of fondness and fear… Then it was gone, leaving only a young, smiling girl. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Filia! I'm sure you're going to enjoy your stay here." Amelia watched as a shadow fell across the blonde's features, that brief smile dying.

"I doubt that..." Filia's eyes narrowed, remembering the haughty, amused look on Zelas's face just before she'd been given this short reprieve. "With her as my teacher, it's going to be pure torture..."

"Oh, it can't be that bad! You just have to try your hardest and I'm sure you'll succeed!" She beamed up at the older girl, before motioning down the hall. "Were you headed to lunch, Miss Filia? I can show you the way if you like."

Lunch... Filia's eyes widened, glancing wildly around for a clock. How much of her precious time had she wasted dealing with the voices! How much more freedom would she be allowed before returning to Zelas's cruel hands!

"They serve some of the best food here, but we'd really better hurry before, um, the others get there..." A panicky look crossed the girl's face, one hand wrapping around Filia's arm, "Oh, noཀ If Miss Lina and Mister Gourry are there... Come on, Miss Filia! This way!"

Filia yelped, as suddenly she found herself racing down the hallway, unable to wrench her arm free from Amelia's tight grasp–for such a short girl, she had a surprisingly strong grip. "Eeee! Stop!"

Whether, Amelia ignored her frantic cries or merely could not hear them over the wild pounding of their feet, Filia could only guess. Whatever the reason, Filia's cries went unheeded, as the two rounded corner after corner, her ponytail slapping against her back with every step.

* * *

"Ah! Here we are!" Amelia smiled happily, as she peered around the cafeteria, relieved to see that there seemed to be a significant lack of destruction. "We made it, Miss Filia!" There was silence from the girl behind her and she spun around, "Miss Filia?"

"Ugh..." The blonde leaned against the wall, head spinning from the sudden run. She turned a wary glance toward Amelia, "Huh...?"

"Oops..." Amelia smiled sheepishly, "Um, do you want to sit down while I get us something to drink, Miss Filia?" She quickly helped the wild-eyed girl to a table, "What would you like? There's soda, water, juice," the girl ticked each drink off her hand, taking in a deep breath for what would obviously be a long list.

Filia waved her hands frantically before the girl could continue, settling into her chair with a relieved sigh, "Tea, would be fine, but I can get it."

"No, no! You just sit there and I'll be right back!" With that, Amelia disappeared into the growing throng of students, humming happily to herself as she ducked and dodged the lunch crowd, leaving Filia sitting wide-eyed and light-headed.

"What...just happened...?" She shook her head, lying her hands flat against the smooth plastic table, staring into its surface with a quizzical expression. For a second, she turned her gaze to the arm Amelia had so easily grasped, lightly running one finger along the pale skin. "She just grabbed it... No hesitation, no worry..." It had been so long since anyone other than her brother had touched her... Had approached her without even the hint of fear, not even her parents had managed... And, yet, this girl...

"She has to know... This school... Everyone..." Filia felt the prick of tears and quickly wiped them away, forcing the sob down her throat. For the first time since arriving, Filia looked around, actually stared into the faces of the other students that meandered around the cafeteria. Short and tall, blonde and brunette, male and female–all so ordinary looking, all smiling and laughing... She could have easily imagined herself sitting within her own school's cafeteria, except... Here, the faces peered back at her, smiles friendly and polite, curious and interested...

For a school full of freaks, no one really seemed to mind...

Her fingers wrapped around her arm, over the spot Amelia had so suddenly grasped. No one cared here... They had all accepted their strange powers, had settled into their lives, and she... she was no different from them in their eyes...

"_Did you know that the eyes are the windows to the soul?"_

"_Oh? Is that why you're always hiding yours?"_

Filia shook her head, face reddening slightly. "Shut up..." A quiet whisper, a soft warning that despite these new ideas, she would never be like them... Never be completely the same...

But did they have to know that? Could she not find some sense of life? An escape from the memories and the dreams and the voices, a short reprieve of semi-normalcy... Didn't she deserve just a tiny bit of what she had lost?

Chewing on her bottom lip, Filia stared straight ahead–her thoughts jumbled and confusing... And so distracting, she didn't notice the redhead standing before her till she slammed her tray down onto the table with a loud bang.

"AH!" Filia jumped, nearly knocking her chair over, as she stared into mischievous, smirking red eyes. One hand grasped the fabric over her pounding heart, even as the girl calmly pulled out a chair and sat down, a blonde man following her example.

"You gonna just stand there?" Lina smirked, biting into a large chicken drum even as she spoke. Tiny, dangerous teeth tore into the meat, swallowing impossibly large bites, as Filia slowly sat back down, still staring wide-eyed at the couple before her. In the back of mind, she could fill the steady build-up, the voices slowly clamoring for attention and she gritted her teeth, preparing for the inevitable repeat of earlier...

"_They are as inseparable as sun and sky... Sometimes, I wonder if the world was created merely for the two of them, for nothing in the world has seemed so right as Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev traveling together..."_

"Miss Lina, Mister Gourry!" Amelia carefully lowered the drinks to the table, smile twitching slightly as she stared between the three.

And like that the voices died, allowing Filia to heave a sigh of relief, as Amelia pulled up a chair, noticing only vaguely that she had brought two white boxes full of ordinary lunch food with her. At her curious stare, Amelia darted a glance toward the gorging redhead, "Um, it seemed wise to grab something while I was up there... I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." Filia smiled, the motion growing a bit easier each time, and reached for ths steaming cup of tea. She warily watched the other two, eyes widening a bit as the redhead suddenly reared back and punched the man, snatching a hamburger from his towering plate of food. "Uh..."

Amelia took a large bite from her sandwich, following Filia's gaze,and quickly swallowing with effort. "Miss Filia, this is Miss Lina Inverse and Mister Gourry Gabriev. They're both fourth year students..." She blanched as both watched Gourry shove an entire hotdog into his mouth. "They're not usually this bad..." That came out as a quiet whisper, blue eyes warily watching Lina to make sure the hot-tempered female hadn't heard.

"No, they're usually worse." Both girls jerked slightly, tilting their heads up at the stoic voice, watching as Zelgadiss sat down, as far from the gorging couple as possible.

"Mister Zelgadiss!" Filia watched with interest, as a faint blush painted Amelia's cheeks, her voice seeming to chirp even higher than before. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine, Amelia." He smiled slightly, the barest twitch of those blue lips. However, the smile was short-lived as he glanced behind the bouncing girl, noticing the silent Filia sitting amongst them. "Seems you've made a new friend..."

Heat radiated off Filia's cheeks, the air seeming to stiffen around the small group, as she met Zelgadiss's cold gaze. Strange how human those blue eyes were... It seemed almost cruel that his entire body be so completely inhuman while they remained the same... A terrible reminder of the life he once had...

But how could she know anything about his life... What proof did she have that he had not been born like this?

Because she knew. She just knew... And that scared her more than anything...

Amelia's mouth was opening, a ready introduction on the tip of her tongue, even as Lina pushed aside her empty tray. "I'm a little curious about your new friend, too, Amelia." The redhead leaned back in her chair, gleaming red eyes watching Filia shrewdly. There was a hidden intelligence within those startling ruby depths, an ancient knowledge of the world and people that frightened the blonde... "We saw you arrive last week, I would've expected to see you in classes before now."

Filia's mouth felt oddly dry, as the three turned to face her. Unlike Amelia's easy friendship and concern, she could only see suspicion and curiosity in the other two's gazes. Feeling slightly overwhelmed, she shot a quick glance at the silent Gourry, only to find him completely oblivious to the ongoing conversation–his attention focused on what seemed to be a cherry cheesecake.

Finding no reprieve there, Filia swallowed once before lifting her chin, eyes hardening before this sudden inquisition. "My teacher did not arrive till today, so I was not able to start training till this morning..."

Lina's eyes narrowed, "Zelas is your trainer?"

Filia nodded, taking a quick sip of tea in an effort to ignore the sudden exchange of glances.

"_A nice cup of tea solves any problem, don't you think, Fi-chan?"_

"_I've always liked to think so."_

"Oh!" Amelia's eyes widened, her face flickering with a sudden realization, "That's why you were in such pain!"

"Pain?" Lina quirked an eyebrow, turning her attention on Amelia even as she continued to watch Filia out of the corner of her eye. The sorceress didn't know why, but seeing the blonde so obviously uncomfortable made her chest hurt... Made her fingers tingle and clench with the desire to fireball something... And, yet, behind those strange, nearly overwhelming protective urges lied the feeling of rightness–she felt oddly at rights, as if something special had been returned to her...

"Migraines." Lukewarm tea splashed over the cup's edges, as Filia suddenly slammed it into the table's surface–her elegant face suddenly cold and stoic, the previous emotions hidden behind a layer of ice. "Whenever my power tries to manifest, it causes extremely painful migraines." With a sharp screech of metal against concrete, Filia stood, her chair tottering dangerously close to tipping over. "Thank you for the meal, Miss Amelia, but I have to go."

"But your food!" Clutching the remaining container, its contents untouched, Amelia leapt to her feet, concern and dismay clouding her dark blue eyes. "Miss Filia!"

For the briefest of seconds, something almost like regret flashed across the blonde's features, then it was gone... Leaving behind a terrible, heart wrenching sadness that did not belong on her young face. "I'm sorry, Amelia... I'm sorry..." Then Filia was running, pushing through the crowd, anything in an effort to escape...

"Miss Filia..." Slowly, Amelia lowered the food, eyes downcast and troubled. "She almost seemed happy...for a second..."

"There's something off with that girl." Lina tugged on one loose red curl, eyes distant, as she pondered the blonde's sudden departure.

Beside her, Gourry swallowed the last of his cheesecake, eying the container of food Filia had left behind. He perked up at Lina's voice, eyes and mouth widening in obvious shock and concern, "You're right, Lina! Look at all the food she left behind!"

The former swordsman was allowed only a warning twitch before finding himself several feet away, nursing a newly developed bruise. "Jellyfish brains! All you think about is food!" Behind the angry redhead, both Amelia and Zelgadiss couldn't help the disbelief crossing their faces—as if, Lina ever thought of anything else!

"Whatever her story, I'd rather not involve myself in Metallium affairs..." Zelgadiss shifted in his seat, blue eyes flashing angrily, "Anything dealing with Xelloss or his mother can't be good..."

"Mister Xelloss isn't a bad person, Mister Zelgadiss!" Amelia slowly lowered herself back into her seat, staring at the cooling cup of spilt tea. "He's helped us many times in the last few years and before..."

"Before." Zelgadiss scoffed, "What we can remember of before, you mean! There's no telling what awful problems he caused. Just because we can't remember them, doesn't mean they didn't happen... You can't trust him, Amelia. Or his mother."

There was the sound of crumpling paper and smacking, causing both to look up as Lina reclaimed her seat, Filia's forgotten lunch opened before the happily snacking sorceress. At their looks, she frowned, "What? I'm not gonna just let good food go to waste!"

"Ooo! Share, Lina!" Gourry snatched a roll from the box, shoving it into his mouth before Lina could stop him. She glowered at the blonde, pulling the box of food closer, trying to shield his wandering hands with her body.

"Oy! Go get your own!"

Zelgadiss rolled his eyes, calmly sipping his coffee, as he tried to ignore Amelia's pleading gaze. "But, Mister Zelgadiss, Ms. Metallium is a teacher! She has to be trustworthy, otherwise I'm sure Miss Luna wouldn't let her teach here."

"Luna doesn't decide who works here, Amelia." Lina licked a crumb from her fingertip, sticking out her tongue triumphantly at the pouting Gourry. "Any ways, Zelas is a benefactor. You really think they'd tell her to pack her bags and take a hike? As long as she's willing to dol out the money, they're gonna let her stay–trustworthy or not."

A horrified expression claimed Amelia's pretty features, lips falling open in a disbelieving O. "But that's horrible! If Miss Metallium's teaching methods are unjust then she shouldn't be allowed to teach! Money should have nothing to do with it!"

Lina couldn't quite keep the smirk from her face, "It really is shocking how much money can affect the world. So, how's that World Welfare Program, that your father so generously sponsored, going?"

Amelia ducked her head, quickly climbing down her seat, her oncoming speech dying on her lips. "Uh, hee... So, what do you think is wrong with Miss Filia?" The girl struggled to ignore the heat radiating from her blush-stained cheeks, trying to deviate the conversation away from her father and his influence over the school.

Lina shrugged, "Who knows? Some people just can't hack being Touched. You heard her that day, screaming and shouting. Probably just mad at her parents for ruining her social life."

"Maybe she misses her tail."

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

Three, very shocked and confused, sets of eyes blinked owlishly at the oblivious Gabriev, watching as he gnawed on a leftover chicken bone. Very carefully, Lina constructed her next sentence, her left eye twitching slightly as she stared at the blonde. "What are you talking about?"

Gourry looked up, tossing aside the meatless bone with a fond sigh, "You know, her tail. I saw it when I looked up her skirt."

"WHAT?"

"MISTER GOURRY, HOW COULD YOU!"

"Oh lord..." Zelgadiss winced, as the poor blonde suffered the blows of not one, but two irate females. Turning away from the violent scene, the chimera once again raised his cup to his lips, eyes rolling upward. "He never learns..."

* * *

Filia sighed softly to herself, as she leaned against the balcony's railing, glad to have finally found a place that offered, at least, a semblance of privacy. Peering out over the acres of rolling hills and lush woods, Filia felt a little foolish for her sudden outburst in front of the others... After all, wasn't it only natural that they be a bit curious about her? Wasn't it normal for them to ask questions about her training?

God, was she really so unused to human contact that she reacted so badly to a few innocent questions...

Gripping the metal rail, she pushed herself onto her tiptoes, leaning as far over as possible, eyes closed as she enjoyed the gentle breeze tugging at her hair. Releasing her hold for a second, Filia reached upward, grasping the simple band holding her hair back, pulling it free with a slight jerk. It felt wondrously refreshing to stand there, the wind blowing her long, blonde hair around her face–the strands light and ticklish against her skin.

"Lovely day, isn't it?"

Blue eyes snapped open and the open balcony door suddenly slammed shut, causing both Filia and Sylphiel to jump. Struggling to calm her pounding heart, and silently cursing her luck in being surprised not once, but twice that day, Filia turned, facing the other woman. A sweet, apologetic smile adorned Sylphiel's features, as she approached the railing, staring up into the sky.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She turned that sweet smile toward Filia, "I'm glad to see you up and well, Miss Filia."

Filia quickly glanced away, "Yes, well..." Her voice trailed off, eyes seeking out the distant figures of students outside, some playing games, others merely studying under the shade. Beside her, Sylphiel followed her gaze and the two remained silent, the air oddly tense...

"I am sorry." Sylphiel's quiet whisper broke through the silence, causing Filia to jerk slightly, facing her despite her hesitance.

"Oh, I'm fine. I was just a little surprised." She forced a smile, lips stretching out in a shaky mockery of forgiveness.

Strands of lilac-colored hair shifted in the sun's light, as Sylphiel slowly shook her head, unable to meet Filia's haunted blue gaze. "No... Not for that... I'm sorry for earlier... I upset you when I revealed your hidden powers..."

"Oh..." Another heavy silence, so thick Filia felt she could choke on it... It hurt to breathe, hurt to think, as she stood there, side by side with this strange, polite woman who reminded her... reminded her...

Of trees... and that special feeling when one is in a place of sacredness...

"It wasn't your fault." Words she couldn't remember choosing, words flowing out of her mouth without any given consent. "You didn't make me this way... If anyone's to blame, its me... According to my _teacher_," oh how that word burned and twisted her stomach, "this is all my fault..."

Sylphiel sighed, eyes distant and heavy with some unknown knowledge, "Miss Zelas can be, at times, a bit uncouth..." Filia blinked at the girl, feeling in the back of her mind that from this girl, uncouth was indeed a terrible insult... "The truth is, Miss Filia, that what has happened to you is merely how things are meant to be..." She smiled, a bit sadly, "You mustn't blame yourself; that is a path leading only to doubt and heartache."

Filia stared into Sylphiel's serene face, watching as the sun's rays danced gently across her skin. Her hands trembled, the urge to reach out and touch the other girl nearly overwhelming. For some reason, in that moment, she was overcome with the need to prove that the other girl truly existed, that she wasn't some strange vision brought about by pain and delusions...

But she held back... Refused to release her grasp on the balcony's railing...

Slowly, Sylphiel stepped back, her smile still sweet and a tad forlorn, "Well, I hope you have a good day, Miss Filia, and hopefully I will see you in class tomorrow."

"Class?" The word felt numb and heavy on her lips, as if she hadn't used her voice in ages instead of mere seconds.

Sylphiel nodded slightly, "Now, that Miss Zelas has returned, you will begin normal classes with the rest of the school. The mornings are comprised of ordinary classes, so that you may continue your high school education, while the afternoons are spent with your mentor."

Filia bit her lower lip, "I didn't know... Zelas hadn't mentioned anything about normal classes..." And she hadn't paid attention to any of Luna's previous lectures...

"Yes, well, I'm sure she was waiting till after lunch to explain." Sylphiel frowned slightly, forehead wrinkling in thought, before smoothing out as she smiled reassuringly at the blonde. "If you have any questions, I'll be happy to help you. We have the same schedule, so if she forgets then just come by and I'll be more than happy to give you a copy. I'm in room 243, its right down the hall."

Relief flooded Filia's senses, "Thank you so much!"

Sylphiel's smile widened, her eyes lighting up with the simple gesture, "You're welcome. See you tomorrow, Miss Filia."

"Goodbye..." Filia half turned to watch the other girl disappear from the balcony, her quiet footsteps fading down the hall. Once sure that Sylphiel had indeed left, Filia turned toward the sky once again... But with the other's sudden visit, she found the sight less relaxing, the open skies seeming to mock her fierce desire for freedom till she frowned. Stepping backwards, she allowed her hands to loosen their tremulous hold on the rail, glancing down at her stiff fingers as she coaxed blood back into them.

Only to freeze in place, disbelief painting her features. One trembling hand reached upward, lightly grazing the metal railing–running over and over the place where her hands had gripped so tightly... Over and over where the metal had bent in, the imprints of her hands clear as day...

"Impossible..."

Yet, obviously not...

"_For someone who looks so delicate, you sure can pack a punch..."_

"_Appearances can be deceiving. You, of all people, should know that, Mister Zelgadiss."_

"Not possible!" She shook her head, blonde strands flying wildly at the motion. "He never said that! I never said that! We've barely spoken! So, how! How could I remember a conversation I've never had?"

And earlier...with Lina and Gourry... the same thing had happened then... She had known them even before hearing their names... But it wasn't POSSIBLE!

"_It's not possible! I just can't do it!"_

"_Just like a dragon! Always full of empty promises!"_

"_SHUT UP!"_

"Yes, shut up!" Filia narrowed her eyes, backing away from the damaged railing, nearly running from the balcony.

Forget Zelas and her supposed training! All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and hide... And in that second, Filia couldn't have cared less if Zelas had appeared, intent on dragging her back for more torturous lessons–she didn't care, she didn't care, she didn't care! She wanted away! Away from perky third-year students with healing powers, away from cold, stoic stone men, away from suspicious, flat-chested redheads! Away from mysterious, aura-readers, away from this sudden, new world and people that made her feel things she hadn't felt in ages...

Running down the halls, the voices throwing in their unnecessary two cents every turn, Filia suddenly realized something...

The voices... They hadn't uttered a word around Sylphiel...


	4. Sanity

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or any of its crazy characters

YAY! Reviews! I'm sorry this chapter is so late, I'm afraid I hit a bit of writer's block and then I was scared I got the characterization all wrong... Hopefully, I did alright I guess I can just blame any OOCness on the whole Alternate Universe thing :P But I just wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone who reviewed! More after the chapter :)

Chapter Four

"_Insanity—a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world."-----R.D. Lang_

"You're a lucky girl." From Luna's cold, impersonal tone, Filia couldn't quite believe the statement, her eyes watching the older woman warily from beneath her pink comforter. Simple sneakers sidestepped an upturned box, one barely visible eyebrow arching in disapproval at the mess. "Zelas's son arrived shortly after your morning session, forcing her to cancel the afternoon's lessons. Otherwise, she would have been very displeased at your absence."

Filia snorted, only to burrow deeper under the covers at the cold, penetrating stare Luna sent her way. "You have a response, Filia? Something to enlighten me on why you would deliberately skip your first day of training?" The air seemed to grow colder with each word, a frigid breeze sneaking in-between her sheets till her skin pricked with a hundred little goose bumps.

"She's evil..." Muffled words, her head buried so far beneath the pink cotton that Luna could only spy the barest of blonde hair.

Luna tensed, her shoulders stiffening, brilliant amethyst eyes shimmering behind locks of lavender hair, "You do not trust her."

Filia shook her head, the act lost amidst the bedding, "No."

At that, Luna smiled–lips twisting upward in a terrifying, knowing grin that would have froze Filia to her very bones had she been able to see it. "Good. You shouldn't."

Surprised blue eyes peered over cotton-candy dyed sheets, "Huh?"

But Luna was already walking away, one hand gripping the door's frame, not bothering to turn around at the blonde's shocked sound. "You will be in class tomorrow."

And the door slammed shut, leaving her alone in the dark–eyes blinking confusedly at the simple wooden barrier. Why would a fellow teacher warn her not to trust Zelas? Weren't they co-workers, maybe even friends? Though... It was hard for Filia to imagine Luna having friends or Zelas for that matter... The term allies seemed more appropriate, neither appeared to waste time on simple dalliances.

At least, she had managed to escape from Zelas–if only for that day... In the morning, she would be forced to attend classes with the other students–a fact she looked forward to about as much as her afternoon sessions with the demon-woman... After the way she had acted at lunch, she'd be surprised if any of them even bothered to talk to her... And after Amelia had been so nice to her...

She sighed, rolling over till she faced the opposite wall. From the sound of the bells, she knew it had to be nearly supper time—an act her stomach looked eagerly toward. Skipping both breakfast and lunch had left her cranky and hungry, enough to make her consider a repeat of Lina and Gourry's actions at lunch...

And she still didn't have a schedule for tomorrow...

Pushing herself up off the bed, Filia frowned as she managed to entangle herself in the fallen sheets. "2. 4." She blinked, running a brush through her tangled blonde hair before approaching the door, only to come to a stop, teeth sinking into her lower lip, as she struggled to remember the door number Sylphiel had given so freely earlier. "2. 4. 5?" She shook her head, entering the hallway with an annoyed frown, "No... That doesn't seem right... 246?" Glancing at her closed door, Filia narrowed her eyes, "Well, that's definitely wrong. I seriously doubt she's hiding inside my room..."

"Down the hall..." She sighed before stiffening her shoulders, turning to face the long hallway, "Start there... There's only so many numbers, one has to sound familiarཀ" Stalking toward the end, Filia glanced back and forth at the doors lining the hall, struggling to remember the exact room number. "245... 244... 243... 242... 241...wait..." She paused, blinking owlishly at the empty hall, "Something...something... 241?" Biting her lip nervously, Filia stared at the innocent-looking white door, "Maybe..."

"If it isn't then they can just point me in the right directionཀ It's no big deal, just trying to find a fellow student... Stop overreacting, Filiaཀ" Nodding her head resolutely, Filia raised her hand, hesitating once before bringing it down against the wood with a sharp rap. For a second, she remained frozen, standing there with her hand still up, as the sounds of movement echoed from behind the door. Then the knob turned and she quickly dropped her fist, standing anxiously within the doorway, as it swung open.

Two brilliant eyes stared back at her from the darkness, seeming to glint almost inhumanly as they blinked once, then twice at her. Beneath her chest, Filia could feel her heart begin to pound rapidly, eyes widening with the realization of whose room she had managed to unknowingly come across. "I...I... I'm sorryཀ I was looking for Sylphiel..."

Running a hand through wire hair, Zelgadiss frowned slightly. "She's next door. 243." The chimera peered out at her from beneath a simple hooded gray sweatshirt, his eyes curious, but not unkind as he watched her stumble backwards, mouth fumbling for words. Trying to ignore her excuses, Zelgadiss began to close his door, but found himself still standing there–watching as she knocked timidly against Sylphiel's door. There was no response from the room and he sighed, as he saw the corners of Filia's eyes tighten, worry creasing her forehead.

"She's probably eating. You'll find her in the cafeteria." With that, he closed his door, eyes catching one last glimpse of her standing there–a confused expression on her face as she worried away at her lower lip.

"The cafeteria..." Even through wood, her faint whisper seemed to echo loudly within his hearing enhanced ears and Zelgadiss heaved a heavy sigh, as he heard her take a step in the wrong direction.

"Damn it..." Swinging the door open with enough force to cause the blonde to jump, Zelgadiss exited his room, pulling his hood further down around his face. "Come on, this way."

"Oh, thank you..." Together the two walked silently down the hall, climbing down the stairs with barely a whisper. Yet, Zelgadiss could feel her eyes watching him, those blue eyes seeking out his form beneath the gray fabric. And each quiet step, each heavy stare brought his cloud of melancholy further down around his shoulders.

"I'm sorry." So deep in his dark, depressing thoughts, Zelgadiss almost jumped at the sound of her voice. Almost.

Instead, he merely glanced at her, "For what? Not knowing your way around?"

Filia shook her head, eyes focused straight ahead, "For last week... I ran into you and then darted off with barely a word. I'm sorry."

He chuckled, a low, smooth sound that seemed to roll against her skin, and she turned toward him–strangely pleased to see that sudden cheer on his stony face. "I can't blame you for running off." Zelgadiss smirked, "I would run too if I bumped into me." And like that, the humor disappeared, replaced by a cold anger–his face suddenly shut off, wiry locks of hair hiding his features from her watchful eyes.

Filia paused, shocked by the sudden change, watching him continue forward, before jogging forward to once again stand at his side. After a moment's hesitation, Filia tilted her head, eyes distant and seeking, "I won't lie to you, Mister Zelgadiss. I wasn't expecting your appearance, but that wasn't why I ran away..." She sighed, feeling oddly at ease with the strange chimera, all her previous anxiety fading with each passing second, "It wasn't from you that I ran, but from myself... Something happened... I felt... Not fear, but a knowing..."

Turning to fully face the curious chimera, Filia realized both had stopped walking–their eyes locking, as she stared into his strange, yet beautiful face... "Like a work of art..."

"A work of madness." Zelgadiss replied, but his tone lacked its usual self-deprecation, merely stating a fact.

"Or genius, the two are usually closely related." The words were spoken without much meaning, carelessly thrown into the air between them, as she continued to peer into those terribly human eyes... Blue and wild and ancient and scarred and beautiful—and she wasn't sure if she was seeing him or her own reflection, but it didn't matter because their eyes said what their mouths refused to say:

I know you.

* * *

The cafeteria remained exactly the same as before, students bustling about, hands full of boxes or trays–mouths moving rapidly as they gossiped with friends. Staring into the melee, Filia felt unmoved and apart—as if she stood on the outside of it all, an observer instead of a player in this strange act... Beside her, Zelgadiss seemed unaffected by the chaos, his hood hiding his features from curious gazes... Neither had spoken since the strange incident in the hallway, he had merely suddenly turned away and stalked off—his back and shoulders tense and stiff, as he waited for her to follow. 

She was glad he hadn't spoken... She wasn't sure what she might have said if he had commented on that strange connection that had suddenly sparked between them... In that instant, she might have told him everything—the voices, the dreams, even that terrible place...

It terrified her to realize she had been so close to revealing all her dark secrets to this stranger... And why? Because he was different, too? Because she knew he might understand what it felt to have such a horrible stain on one's soul? Or just because... Maybe there was no real reasoning behind it, just that momentary overwhelming desire to tell him, to have him know her...

All foolish fancies that had nearly overcome her common sense, her fierce promise to herself to never place such trust in another human...

A slight pressure against her arm brought her back to reality and Filia turned slightly, watching as Zelgadiss motioned toward one of the groups of students. "There's Sylphiel..."

At his motion, one of the other students noticed them and began to wave frantically, her beaming smile obvious even far away. Filia could feel her own lips quirk into a fond smile, one hand elegantly waving back at the nearly jumping Amelia. "I think she wants us to join her." She glanced up at Zelgadiss, catching the fleeting smile that drifted across his own features before he nodded once, tugging uselessly at his already down hood.

"It would seem so." He nodded once toward the leaping Amelia, who had finally calmed slightly, her sleeve caught gently between Sylphiel's fingers. The older girl smiled sweetly at the two, motioning toward the empty chairs before whispering something into Amelia's ear. Filia watched curiously as Amelia blanched before resuming her seat, refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"I wonder what she said..." Zelgadiss had already moved away, feet carrying him toward the shortest line, when he heard the quiet whisper. He glanced over his shoulder at the tall blonde, watching as she continued to stand there–seemingly fascinated by the scene being carried out yards away.

"Either move or get out of the way! Some people wanna eat before this century's over!" Lina shoved uselessly at the chimera, merely managing to jab her palm with a few well-placed stones. "Ow! See what you did!"

The chimera shrugged, attention dragged away from the silent blonde, as he peered down at the petite redhead. "You would think you would have learned by now." He glanced behind her, nodding once in greeting to the ever present swordsman, "I'm surprised you two aren't already gorging yourselves."

Gourry shrugged one shoulder, his left hand rubbing the back of his neck, "We were headed this way, but then Lina saw her sister and suddenly decided to take a shortcut." He stared down at the small sorceress, eyes glimmering with some sudden realization, "Oy, Lina, that wasn't much of a shortcut! It took us longer than ever!"

Still shuddering at the mention of her sister, Lina shot the blonde an angry glare. "It was worth it. Trust me! Now, move, Zel! A delicate lady, such as myself, should go first." Zelgadiss rolled his eyes, but obligingly allowed her to cut in—not particularly in the mood to deal with an irate and hungry Lina Inverse.

"That's not fair, Lina! You'll take all the food!"

Ruby eyes glimmered sardonically, lips twisting into a smug grin, "Deal with it, jellyfish!"

Shoulders slumping, Gourry dragged his feet to the end of the line, behind Filia who had watched the entire exchange with interest. Spotting the blonde girl, Gourry blinked, glancing down at her capris. Having watched the swordsman's progress, Zelgadiss knew he should intervene before the blonde said something incredibly stupid—and, yet, the chimera remained silent. Perhaps it was the 1/3 demon part of himself that couldn't help finding some amusement in the swordsman's thoughtless antics...

Even now the chimera could hear the cogs turning within Gourry's head—adding in his comment earlier about some tail and now staring at Filia's obviously tail-less backside—an act alone that would buy him a precisely aimed fireball, if caught. And now he only waited for the inevitable comment to slip past the other man's lips...

"Hey," Gourry's voice pulled at Filia's attention and she glanced back at him, eyebrows arched in surprise—of the tiny group of friends, this man had spoken the least to her.

"Yes?"

"Could I cut in front of you?"

Lina jumped at the sudden sound of stone meeting floor and turned around to see Zelgadiss pulling himself up, eyes wide and exasperated as he watched Filia blink once at the pleading swordsman. Then she glanced toward the moving line in front of her, then back to Gourry's hopeful eyes...

"I guess so..."

"Thanks!"

"That was a mistake." Filia met Zelgadiss's gaze, the chimera ignoring Gourry's attempts to move ahead of him. "There'll be no food left with both of them in front of you."

Filia shrugged, "I don't eat much. I'm sure there'll be something."

An incredulous look crossed the chimera's face, but he merely turned. She'd learn her mistake soon enough.

* * *

"Was there nothing you liked?" Sylphiel eyed the meager cup of fruit and water, as Filia sat down, the blonde's hair slightly tousled, her eyes wide in shock. 

Zelgadiss settled beside the former Sairaag priestess, a simple bowl of soup and his ever present cup of coffee before him, "I tried to warn her." He jerked his head toward where Lina and Gourry sat, the others struggling to politely ignore the growing chaos emitting from the two. "She let both of them go before her."

"Here, Miss Filia, you can have some of mine." Amelia pushed what remained of her meal toward the dizzy blonde, concernedly watching as Filia continued to watch the savage antics of the Inverse-Gabriev duo. "Miss Filia?"

"I don't think I'll ever be able to forget... So much food... Everywhere..."

Sylphiel smiled softly, "Yes, Miss Lina and Gourry-dear both have very healthy appetites."

Filia blinked at the additional 'dear' to Gourry's name, her horrified gaze finally pulled toward the table's other occupants. She smiled gratefully at Amelia, picking up a dinner roll as delicately as possible, as she darted a glance toward the fond smile Sylphiel directed toward the oblivious blonde.

Zelgadiss snorted, "Only you would call that 'healthy', Sylphiel."

Filia quickly swallowed her bite, trying to eat as fast and politely as possible. Despite her stomach's rumbling protests, she didn't want to be compared to the gorging couple only inches away. Intensely relieved by Amelia's kind offer, Filia dipped her spoon into the raven-haired girl's soup, only half listening to the conversation around her.

"Have you heard, Mister Zelgadiss? Mister Xelloss returned this afternoon." Amelia glanced around Sylphiel, eager to catch the chimera's attention—the topic might not have been his favorite, but at least she knew she would be able to gain his interest.

As expected, Zelgadiss's lips twisted into a scowl, "Wonderful... I'm surprised he isn't down here causing trouble."

"I thought he would be here, too..." Amelia sent the room a quick survey, "Maybe his mother needed to see him for something. He was off on business for Miss Zelas, wasn't he?"

At the mention of her mentor, Filia choked, hands waving frantically, saved by a sudden hand against her back–its palm slapping her till she finally managed to breathe safely. "Down the wrong pipe?" Gourry's easy-going voice called behind her, the blonde sending her an understanding grin, "Happens all the time to me."

Filia coughed, taking a large swallow of soothing water before casting the already munching blond a grateful look, "Thank you very much, Mister Gourry." She blinked woefully at her remaining food, suddenly not nearly as starving as she'd been only seconds ago. "I must have eaten too fast..."

"Are you alright, Miss Filia?" Amelia peered into the other girl's face causing an embarrassed flush to spread across Filia's cheeks.

"I'm fine! Really!" She twisted in her chair, raising her bottle to her lips, as she pretended interest in something across the room.

Amelia didn't seem convinced, her mouth opening in concern, when a light hand gently squeezed her arm in warning. Sylphiel's gentle gaze met Amelia's, shaking her head with the barest of motions before releasing her hold. "Have you seen Mister Xelloss, Amelia?"

Hesitating, Amelia glanced between the two women, before finally forcing her lips into an easy smile. "No, have you, Sylphiel?"

The other girl nodded, "When he arrived. He seemed to be in good cheer about something."

A snort accentuated her comment, Zelgadiss's eyes narrowing in old disgust, "He's ALWAYS in good humor! It's what makes him so annoying."

Amelia shifted slightly, an uncomfortable expression flickering across her features, "Mister Xelloss does always seem to find the strangest things funny..." She quickly glanced over her shoulder, slightly ashamed for the statement and afraid that the purple-haired man had suddenly appeared at the most inopportune time, as usual. Thankfully, his presence did not grace the cafeteria, allowing her a tiny sigh of relief.

"Xelloss..." Filia remained twisted away from the others, but her voice carried to their ears. Amelia and Zelgadiss shot the girl a curious look, but Sylphiel merely raised her cup to her lips, pretending not to have heard the strange, almost wistful tone...

"Do you know Mister Xelloss, Miss Filia?" There was an evident amount of confusion in the other girl's tone, Amelia's hands closing into tiny fists–her heart pounding loudly within her chest. She could feel sweat beading on her temple, an irrational fear suddenly pulling at the former princess... For some reason, the blonde's answer was irrationally important... If she knew Xelloss... If she knew... If...

Something terrible and dark hovered over the air, as she waited for Filia to respond...

"Huh?" Filia blinked, one hand pushing a stray blonde hair behind her ear, "Xelloss? No, I'm afraid I don't... And, please," she smiled, a gesture that only a day ago seemed forbidden and forgotten, "call me Filia."

And like that, the darkness disappeared, leaving Amelia deliriously pleased, her eyes sparkling wildly. "Then you must call me Amelia!"

Filia tilted her head fondly at the younger girl, "Of course."

"Be glad you haven't met him." Zelgadiss's harsh voice cut through the girls' simple joy, his hands closing painfully tight around his cup. "Once you do, you'll wish you never had."

"Mister Zelgadiss!" Amelia scolded, one finger wagging at the unaffected chimera, "You shouldn't say such things!"

"Any ways, Xelloss has his uses." Lina pushed aside plates and trays, leaning back with a contented sigh, one hand gently patting her stomach. "Annoying prick he might be." The sorceress shifted suspicious eyes toward Gourry, the blonde having turned away from her, body hunched over something beyond her vision.

"Smiles too damn much..." Zelgadiss muttered, before falling silent, an ominous dark cloud seeming to hang over the chimera—his lips thin and stern, as he drank seemingly endless amounts of coffee. From her position, Amelia could only watch helplessly as she lost the chimera's attention, his mind obviously focused on angry past memories involving the genki priest.

"What are you hiding, Gourry?" Lina peered over her bodyguard's shoulder, eyes widening at the sight of an apple pie, nearly completely devoured. "Hey! Share!" Tiny hands reached for the pie, only to have it snatched out of her grasp–-Gourry's taller form coming in handy, as he stood, pie crumbs speckled around his chewing mouth.

"Go gepth yormph owfffn!" Continuing to shove pie into his mouth, he danced around the angry redhead–sensing the danger, but feeling the pain was worth the price.

Lina glowered, eyes narrowing with growing anger—if there was one thing she disliked, it was feeling at a disadvantage—so, with a well-placed kick in the shin, Lina sent the blonde yelping, pie falling from his hands. It landed neatly into her greedy palms, shoved into her ready mouth before Gourry could climb back to his feet.

"No fair!"

She calmly licked her fingers, sighing happily, before shooting him a glare. "That's what you get for hiding food from me."

"But, Miss Lina, you did the same thing at lunch!" Amelia's sense of justice felt that there was something not quite right with the scene—despite how idiotic the whole thing truly was...

Lina shrugged, "That was different." She grinned, "That was me." Pulling up a chair closer to the others, the sorceress shot a look all around before landing on the quiet Filia. "So, how was training?"

Filia's eyes narrowed, her body seeming to tremble as her mind replayed the morning's events—the other occupants began to back away at the sudden fire within the blonde's blue gaze. "How can any of you stand that woman! She's–she's–," the girl struggled for an appropriate term, her mind unable to conjure a word terrible enough to describe Zelas Metallium.

"A monster?"

Filia blinked at Lina's choice of words before nodding vehemently. "Exactly!"

"Yeah, well, most of the mentors aren't exactly Mary Poppins. Just be glad you don't have my sister." Lina shivered, "Now, there's a monster!"

"_The monster race will never stop... This war will continue on until there's no one left to stand in their way..."_

"_Or until there's none of them left to stand in ours..."_

A cold shudder ran up Filia's back, the other students' conversation washing over her—felt, but unheard... Her hands suddenly felt clammy and hot, furling and unfurling into tiny fists beneath the plain table. Around her, no one seemed to notice her sudden stiffening or the way her mouth fell open and close—struggling for air to fill her craving lungs.

Monsters...

Such a seemingly simple word... Something every child grew up fearing... The monster beneath their bed, the one inside their closet... Always there, lurking and hiding when the parents came in to tuck them inside their nice, safe beds... Terrible, grotesque monsters—inhuman and nightmarish...

Except not all monsters were terrible, deformed figures–all teeth and claws... Some were devastatingly handsome–all shiny and brilliant and so pretty she wanted to reach out and touch them–all dark and beautiful and shining like jewels and if she just reached out and took hold everything would be alright again. He could change everything, he could make it alright... Except he couldn't! He couldn't! Because it was his fault! He had betrayed her! He had—

"Oh, the schedule! It's in my room, but I can easily bring it to you once you're finished eating, Miss Filia." Sylphiel watched as a bead of sweat slid down the blonde's face, disappearing around the curve of her neck. She met Filia's blue gaze, but found no recognition—those eyes were lost and empty, seeking something beyond this world of class schedules and school cafeterias... Something that could not be found... Not yet...

So, Sylphiel reached over and placed a hand against Filia's arm–once again, feeling that rush of trapped magic, fire and ice lashing out at her intrusion, so physically painful that the former priestess had to fight not to cry out. But the pain and shock was worth it, the touch brought life back to Filia's blue eyes and the girl blinked at the hand clutching her arm.

"Miss Sylphiel?"

Sylphiel pulled away, that gentle, sad smile still present, no sign of the pain she had felt only seconds ago, "If you like, Miss Filia, I can give you the schedule now." She glanced down at Filia's half-eaten food, "Only if you're finished, though."

Tears threatened to overcome the blonde and Filia found herself unable to do anything, but nod–sobs choking her throat. Why? Why! The voices had been so silent! She had felt almost like her old self for the first time in months and then... that horrible... what exactly had it been? It had felt as if she'd suddenly been possessed by some entirely different being... Thoughts and emotions flooding her mind, tossing her aside till she felt like an outsider within her own body. What had happened? This was new... This had never happened before... The voices had always been terrible... Her dreams uncontrollable... But this sudden loss of self?

New and unwanted.

"Oh, you live on the same floor as Miss Sylphiel and Mister Zelgadiss, Filia?" Amelia also stood, following the girls as they made their way to the trash cans. All three dumped the remains of their dinners, moving aside to allow the others access. "Lina and I live on the third floor in room 347."

Filia carefully registered the number, not wishing to have a repeat of her earlier memory lapse. "You live together?"

"Yeah, most students don't get their own private rooms." There was a hint of envy in Lina's tone, as she joined the other girls–leaving Gourry and Zelgadiss to follow, the blonde making light conversation with the only half-listening chimera.

Filia was surprised. The school was massive and, so far, she hadn't seen that many students—especially, not enough to warrant having to room together. "Even with a sister as a teacher? I would have thought you would be allowed some privileges."

Blue eyes widened, as tiny, pale hands covered her mouth, Lina's frantic hissing tickling her ear. "Shhhh! If Luna hears you, she'll think I'm complaining!" The sorceress slowly released her hold on the other girl, shooting nervous glances around for her purple-haired sister.

"Not everyone has to share a room." Amelia explained, one hand gripping the stair's banister, her gaze carefully watching her every step—for some reason, she tended to be incredibly clumsy at the most inopportune times. "Miss Luna heard Lina complaining about the size of her room, so she decided to make her room with me."

"Well, that doesn't seem very fair to you." Filia stopped at the top of the stairs, watching as the raven-haired girl hesitated at the beginning of another set.

"I didn't really mind. I'd never had a roommate before, so I kinda liked it!" Amelia grinned, "That was nearly two years ago. I could have probably asked for a single room this year, but after all this time, there just didn't seem much point."

A faint grin tugged at Lina's own lips, her previous nervousness seeming to have faded once she realized her sister was nowhere in sight, "I just can't get rid of her." The statement was thrown out nonchalantly, but Filia could sense a fondness behind the words—there was a strong friendship between the two girls...

She envied it...

"Well, goodnight, Filia and Miss Sylphiel!" Amelia darted a glance toward the bored chimera, a dreamy smile tugging at the corner of her lips, "Good night, Mister Zelgadiss, sweet dreams!"

Zelgadiss coughed at the sudden attention, tugging slightly at the collar of his sweatshirt, the hood hiding the faint blush staining his blue features. "Uh, good night, Amelia."

With a cheerful bounce, the girl darted up the stairs, leaving a blushing chimera and a smirking Lina behind.

"Hee, I don't get a good night, huh? You only reserve those for Amelia, Zelly boy?" The sorceress laughed at the angry, embarrassed glower sent her way before the chimera stormed off, mumbling under his breath the entire way to his room–door slamming behind him. Lina grinned widely, "He's too easy. Any ways, night! Come on, Gourry, we've got math homework."

The blonde blinked anxiously at the waiting girl, "We do?"

A vein twitched over Lina's right eyebrow, but she merely grabbed the boy by the shirt, "Yes, we do, idiot! Night, Sylphiel, Filia!"

And the two were gone.

Sylphiel turned from the stairs, walking quietly to her room, waiting patiently for Filia to follow. Opening the door with barely a sound, she led the way inside. "It should only take me a second to find." Sylphiel shot the distracted Filia a reassuring smile before quickly making her way to the room's only desk, leaving Filia to glance around curiously.

The room was decorated simply in purples and blues, various pictures of friends and family adorning the walls and a large mirror. Filia lightly ran her fingers over a large, purple bunny's ear–the fake fur soft and velvety under her fingertips. Across the room, Sylphiel rummaged around the cherry-wood desk, its surface covered with organized folders, various plants (obviously doted on by their healthy, colorful appearance), and a single picture frame. Curious, Filia stepped closer, squinting slightly till she could make out the smiling form of Sylphiel—obviously a few years younger, her face tilted slightly up to stare up at the boy standing beside her, a warm, goofy grin on his handsome face. Sylphiel's smile was so sweet, so fond, and so obviously in love that Filia felt her heart break just a little staring into the picture.

"Here it is!" Sylphiel pulled the schedule free, turning only to find Filia's attention riveted to her most prized possession. For a second, pain flashed across her features–an old scar never completely healed rearing its head. "It's a good picture of Gourry dear, isn't it?" Gentle fingers wrapped around the frame's cold metal, lifting the picture into the air.

Filia watched as Sylphiel ran a finger along the picture's surface, feeling suddenly haunted by the expression on the other girl's face—a soft, vulnerable smile so like the one staring back at her from the frame's simple glass. "Sylphiel..."

Sylphiel refused to meet her gaze, instead lowering the picture, her dark hair shielding her face from Filia. "The schedule! If you like I can come to your room tomorrow morning and show you where the classes are." The simple piece of paper hung between them and Filia grasped it, wishing she could somehow comfort the woman before her—a woman so obviously in pain, but still wishing to help her–a person she barely knew.

But what did Filia know about comforting? After all the pain she had suffered, how could she offer the girl before her any kind words?

So, Filia merely took the schedule, "Thank you... I would appreciate that..."

And she walked away, leaving Sylphiel standing there alone..

* * *

Minty Fresh Shock— I really appreciate all your kind words—I'm always so worried about Filia's character—I don't want to make her too angsty, so I'm glad ya think she's IC And yikes! I hadn't even realized it'd been so long since my last update! Glad ya brought it to my attention! So this chapter is really thanks to ya—knowing my postponing butt, it'd have taken ages before I remembered otherwise '-- Thanks! 

Mistress DragonFlame—Thank ya much! Filia's my fave character, too—hard to believe considering all the pain and angst I'm putting her through But hey! We all show our love in different ways:P

anon----Yes, I'm afraid Filia is very angsty—eventually she'll become a little happier, but I love writing angst so I tend to make my characters suffer a bit before finding any kind of happiness -- It's sad, but hopefully her suffering won't deter ya too much—I promise she'll eventually stop whining!

Valk—Thank you! Being my first Slayer fic, I really appreciate it! And with such kind reviews how could I not keep writing?

Nicci Rockdad—Squee! From a Xel/Fi writer like yourself, that means a lot!

Soobin—Hee... Your idea about Sylphiel makes a lot more sense then the crazy plot device I came up with And yay! I really liked writing the whole Zelas/Filia scene— gotta love mazoku-hating Filia :P And lina... Lina, lina... I had such a terrible time writing her and it hasn't gotten any better with later parts... I just can't quite grasp the redhead's character, but I bought one of the Slayer novels and I'm hoping it might help me get her a little more IC—and Thanks for the Amelia comment, she's my second favorite character in the series so I'm glad I got her down right All in all, thank ya for the comments–they've really helped!

Lady Dark Angel—I never realized I was such a good fisherman:P Thanks for the praise! And as for Xelloss... Well, as seen in the above chapter, he hasn't quite shown his face, but trust me, he is lurking about somewhere


	5. Dream

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! I appreciate every review I receive so much! So, please, keep the reviews coming, they can only help me write better and faster :)

Edit: Fixed the lied/lay grammar :) Thanks for pointing it out, encyser! That's what I get for not proof-reading!

Disclaimer: Do not own Slayers or any of its wondrous characters

Chapter Five

_Filia ran a hand along the tent's coarse fabric, hesitating before its opening. Her shoulders itched, a bead of sweat sliding down the back of her neck. She felt naked and vulnerable without her heavy armor, the golden metal resting back within her own tent—even her mace remained behind... If the demons were to attack then she'd be forced to rely only on her holy magic... But even with that risk hovering over her, she knew she'd never be able to enter the tent armed and battle-ready... It would seem sacrilegious... Wrong and cruel..._

_Heaving a tired sigh, Filia finally pushed the flap aside, blinking at the soft glow of weak illumination spells—she forced her face into a serene smile, struggling not to allow the sorrow and pity to overwhelm her features. After all these people had suffered, it would be wrong to place anymore pain upon their shoulders... Especially reminders of the war looming outside the tent's fragile walls._

_Cots upon cots of wounded soldiers lied before her, some quiet and still–their eyes staring blankly ahead, while others fidgeted, heart-wrenching moans tearing at her ears. Ahead, a dozen white-robed healers moved about the soldiers, faces haggard and pale, as they continued to conjure healing spell after healing spell. Nearby, one healer faltered, lips parting in a painful gasp, the light in her hands dying. Only quick reflexes on Filia's part saved the healer from a collision with hard earth, inhumanly strong dragon arms lifting the light woman, leading her to an empty cot._

"_You've overworked yourself again." Filia lowered her, watching as trembling hands pushed back the robe's hood, strands of bluish-purple hair falling across her pale cheeks._

_A soft, gentle smile struggled to find its way across the healer's lips, dark circles shadowing her fair skin. "They need my help... I can't just leave them, Miss Filia."_

_Filia sighed, looking away from the other priestess, hands pushing up the sleeves of her simple blue tunic. "I'll take over while you rest, Sylphiel." She glanced down at the tired healer, eyes darkening at the sad sight Sylphiel made, "But promise me you'll rest. At least for a little while."_

_Sylphiel's gaze widened, weak fingers clutching uselessly at the dragon's shirt, "But, Miss Filia, you can't! If they attack, you'll need your strength!"_

_Filia gently pried Sylphiel's all too human fingers from the fabric, her immortal features infinitely sad and resigned, "If they attack, Sylphiel, we will need your strength, as well..." Leaving the distraught priestess, Filia walked once more toward the occupied cots, skin already tingling with the presence of magic._

_The other healers only shot her the slightest of glances before moving aside, allowing her to take her place at a soldier's cot, fingers glowing with unearthly magic. Staring down at the young human male's face, Filia felt her heart ache—she didn't know his name... He had probably fought under her orders and, yet, she didn't even know his name... Disgusted with herself, Filia placed her healing hands against his wounded chest, eyes closing as she spoke the simple incantation._

"_White flow,_

_The healing power,_

_Recovery!"_

_The familiar rush of magic left Filia slightly breathless, power pouring over the soldier until his wounds closed, the stain of blood being the only indication of his previous pain. Smiling slightly, Filia watched as the man's eyes fluttered open, deep brown orbs blinking blearily before catching sight of her elvish face._

"_Captain? What...?"_

_Filia placed a cool, soothing hand against his forehead, "Shhh... Rest. There'll be plenty of time for talk later. Sleep." The simple command echoed throughout the man's head, magic pulsing through his veins until he slipped under the spell, eyes closing in a peaceful slumber. Satisfied that he was indeed sleeping, Filia's smile slipped away, a heavy sigh shaking her form, as she turned._

_Another cot, another soldier, another spell..._

_An endless rhythm of heal, smile, sleep... An endless parade of human and dragon, but mostly human—some familiar, most not, and she wondered if it really mattered that she knew less than ten names out of the hundred lying there... She wondered if he knew all the names of his soldiers or if he didn't care..._

_She wondered if she was becoming more and more like him every passing day..._

"_Recovery..."_

_Filia's shoulders slumped forward, her vision blurry–shapes dancing dizzily before her. The newly revived soldier joyfully patted his leg, unable to believe the miracle that had appeared so incredibly before his eyes. Vaguely, Filia realized he must have been born behind the barrier if magic so relatively common shocked him so... But really she found herself not caring about his reaction–the world was spinning deliriously, leaving her to stumble and clench her eyes shut, willing it to stop._

"_Filia! FILIA! Damn it!" Small hands grasped her arms, leading her away from the cots and soldiers—away from the pain and after-effects of war... All of this because of the monsters, all of this because of him..._

"_How many did she heal?" A familiar voice laced with familiar irritation, hands forcing her to lay down, her eyes refusing to open---she didn't want to see anymore bleeding soldiers... She didn't want to heal another nameless human only to live with the knowledge that tomorrow he'd probably die..._

"_All of them, ma'am. We tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen! I don't think she even heard us..."_

"_Oh, Miss Filia..." Different hands now, pressing against her cheek–warm and comforting, a voice so tender that she nearly cried._

"_I'm fine..." She forced her eyes to open, lifting herself into a shaky sitting position. To her left, Lina Inverse turned glowing red eyes on her, her small frame nearly shaking with rage._

"_Like hell you are! How could you be so stupid! First Sylphiel, now you! Are you trying to kill yourself! Because if you are, there are better ways to die! Like on the field!"_

"_Lina!" Horrified, Amelia pressed a hand against her mouth, watching the nearly panting sorceress with painfully wide eyes. "Don't say things like that!"_

_Regret flickered across Lina's features before she forced her lips into a scowl, "Don't do this again, Filia. We need you."And Filia could hear the unspoken fact behind her words: We need you—more than them, more than any of the soldiers lying within that tragic little tent. Simple words, weighty words, that pressed upon all three's shoulders until the dragon felt it nearly impossible to breathe and she could taste the salt of Amelia's unshed tears in the air... And staring into Lina's pixy-like face, those wild, red curls dancing around her features like a living flame, Filia could see the price such words cost the sorceress—despite all her talk, Lina did care about life..._

_Sometimes she feared the sorceress cared too much..._

_And sometimes it scared her that maybe she didn't care enough anymore..._

"_It'll be alright, Lina..." Filia wrapped her hand around the sorceress's, Lina's ruby eyes unwilling to meet her gaze. "I won't push myself like that again. I promise." And though Lina Inverse refused to look her way, her fingers closed tightly around the dragon's before pulling away._

"_Good," a familiar, if slightly forced, grin stretched across Lina's lips, one hand lightly tapping Filia's forehead before the dragon could protest. "Now, sleep."_

Filia gasped, shooting straight up, eyes wild and frantic—searching her room for wounded soldiers and Lina's glowing red eyes, relieved to find only open boxes and bundles of clothes. Slowly, one trembling hand reached for the bridge of her nose, pinching the skin with a deep frown. Her other hand spastically clutched the bed sheets, chest moving up and down in painful gasps. She had fallen asleep...

"God..." She gave her skin one final pinch before rubbing her hand across her eyes, peering into the shadows. Slowly, Filia stood, walking toward the private bathroom, mind still dazed and befuddled... One minute she could remember lying in her bed, eyes focused determinedly on the ceiling and then she was in some terrible war strewn land... All those men and women... In pain... Suffering and the feeling that she was to blame for it all...

Splashing cold water on her face, Filia stared into her reflection–water dripping down her pale skin. Long blonde hair hung around a face nearly too beautiful, sapphire eyes hurt and shining as she blinked aside droplets clinging desperately to her lashes. She looked... fine... At first glance, no one would guess the troubled thoughts running through her mind or the pain scarring her both mentally and physically...

Glancing at the simple table-clock, Filia rolled her shoulders, stretching her arms out over her head. It was nearly time for her to get ready for classes and she definitely didn't want to risk having another dream... Though, on the bright side, this one had been slightly better than her usual nightmares... Usually, she was the one inflicting pain, not healing it... If not for the gruesome vision of poor, writhing soldiers, their bodies torn and clawed by some unknown force... Never mind, it had been as terrible as her other ones...

Filia shuddered, twisting the knobs to her shower, quickly undressing before jumping in front of the hot water. Hurriedly, rinsing soap from her long hair, Filia struggled to put the dream from her mind—she should never have fallen asleep... How could she have been so foolish? What if she had screamed? It wouldn't have been the first time a nightmare affected her so horribly and the thought that Sylphiel or Zelgadiss might have heard her...

Filia stepped out of the shower, drying off with a simple, fluffy white towel—dabbing gently at her back. Glancing over her shoulder, Filia caught sight of her reflection–back exposed to the simple glass... For a second, she remained frozen, eyes widening till white overwhelmed blue–her gaze like that of a deer caught in headlights, terrified and blinded... Then she jerked away, towel wrapped firmly around her body as she fled from the bathroom, panting heavily before collapsing against the floor.

A tear slipped past her clenched lids, falling into the carpet without leaving even the tiniest of marks. Her throat burned, a scream clawing its way forth—pushed back by sheer willpower, her hands sinking into rough, braided carpeting. Instead of screaming, her mouth began to move in a terrible whisper, her eyes opening only to stare forward, unfocused and distant. "No more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, NO MORE, NO MORE. NO MORE!"

And then she did fall forward, face pressed against the carpet, as she sobbed–quiet, heaving gasps, salt dripping into her mouth, staining the floor...

* * *

"Did you sleep well, Miss Filia?" Sylphiel watched the other girl, both walking quietly through the mansion's east wing. A simple purple backpack adorning her back, her hair loose and straight around her pleasant features. Beside her, Filia carried only a single notebook, a bell-like white skirt swinging with each step. The blonde had twisted her hair into a simple bun, two pink chopsticks shoved haphazardly into the bundle. 

Filia blinked at the question, eyes focused on trying to remember the numerous twists and turns Sylphiel had led her down, "Oh, yes." She smiled, eyes seemingly light and carefree, "Very well! You, Miss Sylphiel?"

Sylphiel faltered slightly at the sugary tone, but quickly regained her pleasant smile, "Well, thank you." They stopped before an open door, other students already standing inside, the teacher obviously not present from the way they laughed and shouted–several balls of seemingly pure light were being thrown back and forth causing Filia to halt, mesmerized by the show of magic.

"Here we are." Sylphiel offered unnecessarily, leading the way inside, easily ducking a lighting spell. Seeing the amazed look on Filia's expression, the priestess smiled reassuringly, "You'll get used to it in no time, Miss Filia."

A ball of light sped past and Filia's free hand suddenly shot out, catching it easily–watching as the magic faded, dying within her grasp. She frowned, lines of frustration creasing her features, hand burning as she struggled to revive the light she'd so carelessly destroyed. "Why... I can't..." Filia felt panic prick her chest, turning toward Sylphiel's knowing gaze, "I thought... I thought I could..."

"It takes time, Miss Filia." Sylphiel reached for Filia's empty hand, her own gaze becoming focused and determined, "Light!" With a soft crackle, another ball of light hovered only inches from the blonde's open palm, moving into Sylphiel's hand with ease. "You'll be doing it in no time."

Not responding, Filia sat down, troubled by the sudden display... Why had she reached for the strange magical globe? Why had she thought it would be easy to recreate that simple magic? Why had she even wanted to! After all this time of running and refusing to admit the power that rested within her, she suddenly wanted to go about waving her hands, creating useless balls of light!

And why hadn't she been able to? She'd felt so confident... So sure that she could accomplish such an easy spell...

Spell? Were they spells? What had Zelas called it? Power? Energy? Magic?

Amelia called it magic, the younger girl had been able to heal with the slightest wave of her hand, easing all of Filia's aches and pains with a few well chosen words...

Just like in her dream...

"She's late again." Lina settled into the desk ahead of Filia, propping her feet into the empty desk in front of her. "Probably off watering the plastic flowers again."

Stealthily. Zelgadiss slipped into the seat behind Sylphiel, as close to the shadows as possible. "Or fishing in the aquarium... Wasn't that her excuse last time?"

Lina nodded slightly, not bothering to turn and face the chimera, as she continued to watch the door. A slight frown creased the redhead's forehead, feet sliding to the floor, as she leaned forward. Filia arched an eyebrow at the girl's behavior, unaware of the growing smirk on Zelgadiss's hidden features.

"Looking for someone, Lina? Missing a certain blonde?" Despite the cloth covering his mouth, the chimera's teasing tone rang loud enough for the three girls to hear and Lina flared red–though whether from anger or embarrassment, Filia wasn't sure, as Gourry chose to walk in that moment, carrying several tall boxes. Behind him stood a woman of Amelia's height, her hair long and light blue, hanging down her back in a tumble of curls. Oddly, she seemed to be dressed in an evening gown that sparkled and flashed in the lighting spells' glow.

"The fish want to play, class!" The woman clapped her hands together, voice dreamy and child-like, ignoring the blonde who struggled to stand beside her, arms loaded with what appeared to be three chests of fish. "Partners! We'll have a dance, a fishy dance!" With that, she danced from the room, twirling with a swirl of her inappropriate dress.

Filia blinked frantically, mouth falling open in confusion, "What...?"

"She wants us to get in pairs for dissection, then head down to the lab to begin actual class." Lina rolled her eyes, "If she wanted us to do lab work, why didn't she tell us before we all came here like idiots?" Gathering her belongings, the redhead stood with a huff, eying the tottering Gourry with an amused grin. "Having fun, Gourry?"

"Ya know," the blonde shifted the weight in his arms, peering around the ice-chests, "you could help me."

She waved a hand, "Yeah, yeah. Hey, Zel, help Gourry."

Shooting the sorceress an exasperated glare, Zelgadiss scowled, "What am I? Your slave?"

Lina smirked, one sharp tooth hanging mischievously over her bottom lip, "Sounds good to me! Bye, boys! Have fun!" Darting from the classroom after the other students, the sorceress's laughter could be heard echoing in the hallway.

"Hey, Zelgadiss?" The chimera sighed at the hopeful look in Gourry's blue gaze, holding his arms out stiffly.

"I hate you..."

"Thanks Zel!" Happily, Gourry slid the top chest off and into the chimera's arms, leaving him with only two fishy chests to carry—his arms greatly relieved to get rid of the weight.

Sylphiel eyed the still massive load in Gourry's arms, eyes crinkling in concern, "Will you be alright, Gourry dear?"

He grinned, nodding over his lesser load, "Don't worry, Sylphiel, I've got it!" His eyes narrowed slightly, as he moved toward the door, Lina's somewhat maniacal laughter still ringing down the hall, "That Lina..." He shook his head once, long blonde hair swinging at the motion, the slight frown disappearing as quickly as it appeared, his voice softening slightly, "She's hopeless. She better save me a seat!" Gourry glanced down into Sylphiel's upturned face, "You better hurry, Sylphiel, or everybody will be partnered up before you get there!" Whistling, Gourry headed in the direction of their fellow classmates, unable to recognize the quiet longing on Sylphiel's features.

"But... I was hoping... you might be my...partner... Gourry dear..." But the blonde was already too far away to hear her, his feet carrying him as quickly as possible toward Lina–thoughts of retribution for her cruel abandonment running through his head. Sylphiel's hand dropped from where it had hovered in the air, reaching out for the blonde man unconsciously. Beside her, Filia fidgeted uncomfortably, watching the sad emotions flickering across the other girl's face with discomfort.

"Miss Sylphiel?" Filia cautiously placed a hand against her shoulder, sending a shudder down Sylphiel's back. "Um... I need a partner, if you don't mind... And a translator..." She forced a joking grin, the act of comforting another human being foreign and odd after a year of being alone. "I'm afraid I don't quite understand the teacher."

When Sylphiel turned around, her face seemed happy and carefree–only the slight sheen of tears indicating her troubled heart. "Of course, Miss Filia. I sometimes forget how confusing Miss Dolphin's way of teaching can be to newcomers. I would love to be your partner." She motioned down the hall, walking even as she spoke, "The lab's only a few doors down, I'm sure everyone's waiting for us."

Filia wondered if she should ask about Sylphiel and Gourry—if she should show interest in Sylphiel's broken heart... Or would that merely be cruel and unnecessary? Unsure, Filia decided to remain quiet, suddenly realizing how much she had missed out on in her isolation at her former school... Realizing the terrifying task of returning to normalcy that loomed before her... Would she ever be able to interact with others without feeling this overwhelming sense of self-consciousness?

Both girls were so deeply imbued in their own thoughts, neither noticed the chimera's silent footsteps behind them, a contemplative look on his stony features...

* * *

"All that fish and she wouldn't let us eat a single one!" Lina stormed from the classroom, hands clenched into angry fists. "What a waste!" 

Behind her, Gourry easily shouldered both his books and the redhead's, nodding his agreement. "And after we prepared them so nicely, too!" He caught up with the steaming sorceress, disappointment clouding his usually carefree features. "What's the point of a cooking class, if you don't get to eat what you make?"

Lina swung a hand carelessly at the blonde, her own growing disappointment at a nice fishy snack causing her not to care much when the swordsman dodged the blow. "Idiot! That wasn't a cooking class!"

Large, blue eyes blinked confusedly down at her, "It wasn't?"

"I give up! We've been taking this class all year and you can't remember that its biology, not cooking!"

Filia sniffed at her hands, turning slightly green at the fishy smell clinging to her flesh, "Ugh... It won't come off..." Her stomach twisted in protest and she quickly dropped her hands, struggling to distract herself from the growing nausea... After her less than pleasant wake-up, gutting a fish had been the last thing she'd wanted to do... Watching the bickering couple ahead of her, Filia motioned slightly, catching Zelgadiss's attention, "Are they usually like this?"

The chimera frowned, stony fingers picking at a fish scale that had somehow managed to puncture itself in his hair. "The fighting?" Flicking the scale aside, Zelgadiss nodded, "It's a ritual between the two..."

"But arguing all the time? It must get old after awhile." Filia shot a quick glance toward Sylphiel, the other girl remaining oddly silent, her gaze focused on the ground as the trio followed behind Lina and Gourry–the couple now bursting into laughter over something most likely trivial and idiotic.

Zelgadiss shrugged, "For some people, yeah, but Gourry's got a lot of patience in that thick skull of his. Not many people would be able to handle Lina's constant complaints."

"Gourry dear is a very kind man..." Sylphiel's voice seemed like a whisper on the wind, those deep, sad eyes staring into the blonde's oblivious back. "He understands Miss Lina... He always has..." Her mouth suddenly closed, eyes flickering toward the listening blonde and chimera, face slightly strained and flushed, as if she had revealed some deep, dark secret.

"Mister Zelgadiss!" Amelia to the rescue, Filia thought, turning to watch the younger girl jog toward them–a backpack slapping against her back with each wild gesture. Suddenly, the girl pitched forward, arms spinning wildly as she struggled to catch herself, only to land face-first on the cold, marble floor. "Ow..."

"Miss Amelia!"

"Amelia!"

Zelgadiss sighed, rubbing his temple, as the smaller girl sat back, one hand gently massaging her bruised nose. "That's why you shouldn't run in the halls, Amelia..."

Tears shone in the younger girl's gaze, as she stared up into the chimera's seemingly emotionless features—her bottom lip quivering slightly before she forced a grin, blinking away the tears with a careless laugh. "You're right, Mister Zelgadiss!" Ignoring the other girls' offered hands, Amelia jumped to her feet, posing with a slight flourish. "Ta-da!"

Filia shot a cold glare in the chimera's direction, surprised at the anger rolling within her chest. There had been no reason to be so cold to the small girl! Why was he always trying to hide his feelings? Why did he have to make Amelia suffer because of his own cowardice! How long before he realized this incessant need to find his cure was pushing away the one woman who meant the most to him?

What cure?

Filia blinked, realizing the group had continued on without her, Amelia talking animatedly to both Sylphiel and Zelgadiss about her World Welfare Program. White sandals slapped against the smooth stone, as she ran after the first people she had felt a genuine connection to since the incident. Sylphiel offered Filia a quick smile before returning her attention to the wildly gesturing former princess, "Miss Luna says I can start putting up fliers around the school! Finally, the power of truth and justice will ring clearly throughout these halls! All hearts will pulse with one single goal—to promote good and righteousness, to stop the corrupt ways of evil, to–."

"We get the picture! Yeesh..." Lina ran a hand through her hair, "I'm surprised Luna gave you the okay. After all, she's not exactly justice-material." A devious grin crept its way across her lips, "She's more like the corrupt evil you're always blabbing about."

"Oh, am I?" Luna titled her head at the sudden silence, eyes narrowed and focused on her wide-eyed, trembling sister. Slowly, Lina turned, face draining of all coloring, teeth chattering at the sight of her ominous big sister standing so close.

"Sis!"

Luna leaned forward, nearly nose to nose with the quivering Lina, "Aren't you suppose to be in class?" Monotonous and stoic, but the words shot a cold arrow of fear throughout the sorceress.

"Y-y-y-y-es..."

One fine purple eyebrow arched, "Then get going."

Lina shuddered, eyes widening even further before suddenly spinning around, snatching Gourry's arm in a tight hold, "COME ON, JELLYFISH! MOVE!"

"LINA!" Gourry screeched, as he was pulled down the hall—leaving the others to only watch as the blur known as Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev disappeared from sight.

Without another word, Luna shot the others a cool look, her eyes lingering momentarily on Filia–sending a shiver up the blonde's spine–before turning away, her feet barely making a sound. Once out of sight, the remaining students slumped forward with a heavy, relieved sigh. Amelia shifted slightly at the sudden tension, backing away from the other three with a slight smile. "I oughta be going to class, too. I'll see you later!" She waved once before running back in the direction she'd come, turning a corner wildly—a short squeal and loud Ow signaling another collision with the floor.

Zelgadiss winced slightly, "I'm always perpetually surprised that she's not continually black and blue..."

"To class, Mister Zelgadiss, Miss Filia?" Sylphiel offered, one hand fixing the strap of her heavy backpack.

"To class, Sylphiel, before Lina destroys it in her fear."

* * *

Filia dragged her feet after the others, sighing slightly as she glanced once again at the watch adorning her right wrist. Her last class before lunch and then... 

Zelas.

Sighing again, Filia stumbled forward, as a hand suddenly collided painfully with the back of her head. "Ow! Miss Lina!"

Lina scowled at the blonde, "Stop moping! Zelas may be bad, but she's nowhere near as horrible as Luna! So, stop sighing and get moving!" She grinned, clapping a hand against Filia's back in a much less painful slap, "Any ways, lunch is next! You can't be sad with lunch approaching!"

"Yeah. Lunch is my favorite class!" Gourry glanced over his shoulder, dopey grin plastered across his face. "Don't ya think, Lina?"

Lina ignored the slight slip, instead nodding excitedly, "Yep! You've got something right for once, Gourry!"

Still rubbing her aching head, Filia sidestepped away from the drooling duo, bumping into Zelgadiss's rock-solid chest. "Ow..." She glanced up at the chimera, "Sorry, Mister Zelgadiss."

"No problem. I'd run if those two started talking about food, too." He grinned down at her, the cloth from earlier pulled away from his face, the strange tan hood lowered so the silvery locks of metal hair shimmered in the florescent lights. So close to the handsome chimera, Filia felt her cheeks flush slightly, quickly jerking away–her heart hammering wildly within her chest... Now, that she thought about it, it had been so long since she'd been around a man—especially ones as handsome as Gourry and Zelgadiss... Once, the boys at her old school had flirted shamelessly with her, but that had all changed after the rumors...

And, despite his strange appearance, Zelgadiss was still very handsome... And how could he mind the strange power flowing through her veins when the same magic had to exist somewhere within him?

But her mind faltered at the idea... Handsome, Zelgadiss might be, but some distant part of her told her there was more to the chimera... Determined and focused, narrow-minded and self-hating, scarred and distrustful—the chimera needed someone kind and gentle, innocent and pure... Someone like the girl who had offered her friendship without knowing a single thing about her... who'd used precious energy to heal her pain before she'd even known her name...

Filia smiled, suddenly content with her decision—not really a decision, though... A fact. Her cheeks might have flushed and her heart may have sped up for a split second, but in her heart and mind, she knew Zelgadiss belonged to another... Just like the blonde swordsman walking only feet ahead of her... They belonged to other people, to Lina and Amelia... She knew that, beyond all else, she knew that simple fact.

"_And who do you belong to, Fi-chan?"_

She ignored the taunting voice, her smile fading as quickly as it had appeared. The others were heading into a room, the students here already seated and quiet–a calm figure standing before them. Eyes as golden as the sun turned to survey the group, nodding slightly at Lina and the other students, "Good day, students." Those golden, shimmering eyes landed on Filia and her eyebrows creased at the sudden shock she saw reflected inside his gaze. Then he seemed to gain control, simply motioning toward a seat beside Gourry. "Welcome, miss..."

"Filia, Filia Ryo." She offered quietly, setting down her notebook, trying to ignore the curious looks being sent her way–her voice trembled slightly, meeting his gaze with her own wild blue eyes. Her feet itched with the sudden desire to run, bolt from the classroom and never look back... Never stare into those odd, golden eyes...

Golden...

"Ryo..." The teacher paused, mouthing the name with something akin to sorrow. "I am glad to have you here, Miss Ryo. I am Milgazia." Then he turned, yellow strands barely moving at the gesture, his hand motioning to the chalkboard–one of the white pieces of chalk jumping into his hands. For a second, Filia thought his hand trembled slightly before grasping the chalk tightly, white powder staining his hands. "We were reviewing the basic outline..."

Filia's notebook remained closed, as she stared into the seemingly young teacher's back. Something warm and fiery began to burn its way up her calves, the sensation too hot to be called comforting. White fingers gripped the edge of her desk, eyes locked on those seemingly simple strands of blonde hair, swaying with every calculation he jotted across the board's black surface. Around her, lead scraped against clean paper, Gourry's questioning voice, Lina's angry response, even Sylphiel's quiet explanation—all background noise to the thunder building within her...

"_You are hereby excommunicated, stripped of all titles, and banished from all clans. Be glad we leave you with your life, traitor."_

"_TRAITOR!"_

"_DEMON'S WHORE!"_

Zelgadiss watched as one tear then another slid past Filia's chin, landing against the desk's surface with the slightest of sounds. Soundlessly, her lips moved, repeating something that even his ears could not understand... But ahead of her, Milgazia suddenly faltered in his writing, back tensing as Filia raised her head–eyes so dark and deep, they appeared more black than blue. And then, he could finally understand her silent words, spoken in a voice much too old and ancient to belong to her young face.

"You betrayed me..."

And the world exploded around them.

* * *

The desk went first—wood showering the unfortunate students sitting in the front row, their mouths wide in shock and fear, as they scrambled to their feet–the flicker of shields surrounding their hastily moving forms. From his vantage point, Zelgadiss shoved his hands out, a shield surrounding both himself and the wide-eyed Sylphiel, as Filia stood–her hands reaching out for the still Milgazia—his own features composed, even serene, as he watched her advance. 

Nearby, Zelgadiss heard Lina curse, one tiny hand grasping Gourry by the shirt as she floated mere inches off the ground, surveying the destruction with a critical and somewhat impressed eye. "Not as good as a fireball, but efficient, eh, Zel?" She landed beside the chimera, dropping the swordsman without a second thought. "She must really hate calculus." The sorceress jerked a finger toward the smoldering desk remains, both watching warily as the girl stopped only inches from Milgazia.

"We're on physics equations, Lina. Shows how well you pay attention." The chimera's shield continued to shine at full force, his face stoic despite his joking tone.

"Math's only good for one thing–counting money!" A glow was beginning to form between Lina's palms and Gourry eyed it anxiously from his position on the floor, "Oy... Lina..."

Ignoring their playful banter, Filia stared into Milgazia's calm face—her fingers burning with raw power. She wanted to reach out and touch him, hurt him, hug him, tear him apart... Confusion tore at her mind and the magic suddenly died in her hands, palms grasping her pounding head, as she shook once before collapsing to her knees, gritting her teeth at the sudden wave of pain flowing over her.

"I can't... Not yet... Not like this... Please..." She reached for one khaki encased leg, clutching the fabric, as she stared pleadingly into Milgazia's golden eyes. "Please."

And there was pain in his gaze—old, never truly forgotten pain... Then he was reaching down, fingers lightly touching her temple, "Sleep, child, sleep..."

And Filia slept...

* * *

"Miss Lina, that's Filia's! Stop eating it!" 

"She's sleeping! How can she eat when she's unconscious!"

"Your concern for her is really overwhelming, Lina..."

"Hey! I didn't say I wasn't concerned! I'm a very caring person!"

"Ha! HEY! You can't conjure a fireball in here!"

Blinking, Filia dazedly listened to the voices hovering nearby, turning slightly to peer at the figures. Her forehead creased, as she watched Lina glower at Zelgadiss, a dangerous glow beginning to form between the redhead's hands, while the chimera looked a tad panicky, hands held defensively before his chest. "What... Miss Lina?" At the sound of her voice, the fireball died, the group turning toward the sitting blonde.

"Filia!" Amelia darted toward the girl's side, "Are you feeling alright? You didn't sleep very long..."

Long legs kicked aside the cot's thin sheet, eyes looking around the simple white room nervously. "Where am I? What happened?" Fear began to creep across her face, fingers twisting into the fabric of her skirt, "Something terrible happened..." Panic edged its way into her voice, " I did something terrible..."

Lina shrugged, "Can't say it was the best first impression."

"Miss Lina!" Amelia shot the redhead a scolding glance, as Zelgadiss scoffed–making sure to stand a safe distance from the irritable sorceress.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Filia. Blowing up a desk is nowhere near as bad as half the things she's done on a good day." The chimera jerked a finger toward the seething Lina, ignoring the angry looks she sent his way.

"What are you talking about! I don't blow up desks!"

Behind her, Gourry scratched his head, "Yes, you do, Lina. You blew up Dolphin's last week, remember?"

A hard blow to the head sent the blonde flying, Lina's terrifying form looming over him. "How come you remember that, but can't remember Dolphin teaches biology, not cooking class?"

Ignoring the chaos growing behind her, Amelia pushed a takeout box toward the still worried blonde, smiling kindly. "We brought you some lunch. The nurse says you can leave as soon as you're ready." Sheepishly, Amelia watched as Filia opened the box, arching her eyebrows in surprise at the sufficient lack of food. "Uh, Miss Lina and Mister Gourry kinda...got it... But I can go back and get you some more if you want!"

Filia shook her head, closing the box, "No, that's fine... I'm not really hungry..." Staring at her twisting fingers, the blonde shifted uncomfortably before the raven-haired girl. "Amelia... what happened?" Her voice came out low and soft, barely a whisper–the sound not showing the terrible fear and panic warring within her heart. "I remember feeling... fire..then nothing..."

Amelia glanced worriedly at Zelgadiss, meeting the chimera's contemplative gaze, "I wasn't there, Filia... I can only tell you what I heard..."

"That's really all you remember?" Filia glanced up at Zelgadiss, his blue eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Mister Zelgadiss!" Amelia shot the man a glare, before facing Filia once again, taking the other girl's hand in her own, "It's understandable that you might not remember. I can remember when my powers first started to manifest, things would sometimes levitate or explode, it's only natural. And you have it so much harder, what with your powers trapped inside." She smiled reassuringly, "You really shouldn't worry, Filia. Everything will be just fine, you'll see!"

"You should listen to your classmate, Filia _Ryo_." A cool, smooth voice entered the fray, startling even the bickering couple into silence, as Zelas stepped into the room, eyeing them all with amusement. "How sweet, you've already made friends, Filia."

Amelia gasped, as Filia's hand suddenly tightened around her own, the blonde's eyes narrowing dangerously, as she watched her mentor step closer. "What are you doing here?" Harsh, angry words, spat more than spoken, as Filia suddenly jumped to her feet, releasing Amelia's throbbing hand.

"It's one, darling. Lesson time." Zelas smirked, all white teeth and red lips, and Filia once again felt that overwhelming sensation of wrongness... It seemed even stronger than before now that Zelas stood among the students, her cold violet gaze running over Lina and the others with interest. "I'm afraid I'm going to have steal her away, children. You don't mind, do you?"

Something sparked within Lina's gaze, her face remaining unconcerned and nonchalant, despite the way her heart began to pound. She waved a hand, "Nah, we got our own lessons to head to and we'll see her later." Lina met Zelas's gaze, "Won't we?" Nearby, Gourry stood tall and composed, one hand reaching for some non-existent blade, blue eyes focused and steely as they watched the blonde woman. With the slightest of shifts, the man managed to place himself between the sorceress and the blonde mentor, a smile still on his features, even as he sought to protect his ward.

Zelas's grin widened, as she watched the two, "Of course. Come along, Filia." With that, she turned, brushing aside Zelgadiss with a slight wave of her hand, arching an eyebrow at the stoic chimera before leaving the nurse's station, her heels clicking against marble flooring. She didn't bother to wait for Filia, merely strode in the direction of her office without a second glance... Leaving the seething blonde behind, hands clenched into tight fists, breath coming out in angry pants.

"You'd better be going, Filia." Amelia gave the girl a gentle nudge, slightly concerned about the odd scene that had just played out, but knowing she'd find no answers from the angry blonde. "We'll see you at supper, ok?"

Nodding stiffly, Filia ran a hand down her skirt, "Yes." And then she was storming from the room, leaving the others to watch her tense, jerky steps carry her down the hall after Zelas's swaying hips. "I hate that woman..."

Lina whistled, "What I wouldn't do to be a fly on the wall for those lessons!" She shot the others a quick grin, "Better get going, huh?" She shot them a slight wave, "See ya!" Then she was out the door, heading off toward her private lessons with Milgazia–as an advanced student, Lina had been given a private project, something she wouldn't reveal to the others, no matter how much they begged and pleaded.

"Bye, Miss Lina!" Amelia hesitated at the door, fingers nervously fidgeting with the bracelet she wore, "I hope Miss Filia is alright..." The girl jumped, as a heavy hand grasped her shoulder comfortingly, Zelgadiss moving around her so he could stand in the hall.

"She'll be fine. We'd better hurry, though, Amelia. You know, Luna doesn't like to be kept waiting." With a gentle smile, the chimera directed the girl in the right direction of their shamanic studies, the only class the two were able to share with one another, considering Amelia's one year gap in age. At the mention of their shared studies, Amelia's smile returned full-force, a bounce added to her step.

"Of course, Mister Zelgadiss!"

Leaving only Gourry behind, his eyes darting between the directions his friends had taken. "Oy... I forgot... Where do I go?"

* * *

"You made quite the commotion for dear Milgazia. Poor thing, he was quite distraught." Zelas smirked, lighting a cigarette with the tip of her finger, grinning as she watched Filia fidget in front of the closed door. "Such destructive qualities..." 

Filia's eyes narrowed, goose bumps running up and down her arms, "I am not destructive!"

Zelas arched an eyebrow at the girl's venomous tone, "Seems I hit a nerve." She smiled, "How delightful!" The blonde pursed her lips, a thin stream of gray smoke staining the air. Filia struggled to calm her itching throat, the fumes reaching her even half way across the room... Or maybe it was just Zelas's very presence that burned at her throat, causing her stomach to roll in disagreement. "Are you ready to begin? Starting now, we won't be playing anymore."

"Playing!" The angry screech echoed around the room, as Filia shot forward, body quivering with rage, "You call yesterday PLAYING!"

Zelas blinked, a mockery of confusion darting across her pretty face, "Why, of course, darling. Today, we start the hard stuff." She grinned, rows of too white teeth flashing at the gesture, seeming almost inhumanly sharp in the room's dim lighting, "Today, we get to see what I have to work with."

Without another word, she turned from the fuming teenager, making her way toward the isolated section of the large room, pushing open the heavy metal door with barely an effort. "Are you coming?" Zelas didn't really expect an answer, instead walking into the room without turning to even watch the other girl's expression—she didn't need to look at Filia to feel the anger and sudden fear rolling off the girl.

Licking her lips, Zelas situated herself across the plastic-encased room, watching amusingly as Filia took first one then another shaky step, blue eyes painfully wide as she stared at the simple white room... Teeth sank into the girl's lower lip, a drop of blood staining her white teeth, and suddenly Filia stopped, arms wrapping around her trembling body, head shaking back and forth with such motion that her already damaged bun started to come undone, tendrils of hair surrounding her pale, scared face.

"I can't... I can't..."

"Of course, you can. It's just a room."

Filia squeezed her eyes shut, "You don't understand! I can't!"

_Hands and hands and hands–pressed against her skin, emotionless and bodiless hands—reaching and grasping and not caring and then leaving and she wasn't sure which was worse–being with the hands or being alone... because it was dark and alone and oh so white and alone and she couldn't escape and when she screamed the hands sometimes came and sometimes didn't and she lost herself a bit each time they appeared with their needles and machines and slick, rubbery gloves...and she lost herself when they didn't come, too, because then she was alone with only the voices... talking and talking and talking... till she prayed for the hands and when the hands came, she prayed for the voices..._

"I CAN'T!"

Violet eyes narrowed, ash falling to the ground, as Zelas suddenly threw her cigarette down, one black heel crushing the flimsy paper. Those incredibly long, sharp heels clicked against the floor, as she made her way slowly and steadily across the room, face twisted into an angry scowl. Bending, Zelas sank sharp, red fingernails into Filia's arm, yanking the kneeling girl off the floor, ignoring her sudden gasp of pain. "You will get up and you will go into that room. Do you understand me?" Inhumanly bright violet eyes met Filia's tearful gaze, the blonde continuing to shake her head wildly even as she hung at Zelas's mercy.

"No, no, no! I can't, I can't!" Horrible cries, whimpers of past pain, and despite the delicious taste, Zelas found herself disgusted by the crying girl, releasing her with a crash.

"After everything, you're going to let a few idiotic doctors destroy you..." Zelas scoffed, sneering at the pathetic scene, "Then, you're not worthy of my help. You'll die. You'll die just like all the others–pathetic."

"_Pathetic..."_

Filia's sobs began to die, her fingers clutching at the smooth floor.

"_Do you want to die, Filia?"_

"No..." A soft, barely audible whisper, but enough of one to drag Zelas's attention back toward the cowering girl.

"_Get up and stop crying! Stop feeling sorry for yourself just because it's the easiest route! Remember who you are! Remember what you are! Now, get up!"_

Rasing dark blue eyes, Filia met Zelas's smirking violet gaze, tears still streaming down her face even as she slowly stood, a determined, angry expression replacing the momentary fear and panic that had overwhelmed her. "I am not pathetic." Cold, hard, quiet words that broke the silence surrounding the two. Simple words that boiled Filia's blood and widened the smirk on Zelas's features.

"We'll see." Was all Zelas said before turning away, once again entering the safety room–not bothering to glance over her shoulder, as Filia took one then another stiff step inside, the metal door swinging shut behind her...

* * *

"Try again." Zelas paced the small room, watching as Filia huffed, her pale hands held out before her. Sweat beaded the girl's forehead, blue eyes shooting a dark, ugly look at the composed mentor. 

"I have tried again! I've tried twenty times! It's not working!" With an angry, childish stomp, Filia threw her hands up, pulling the chopsticks from her falling hair, glaring at the useless pieces of wood.

"And you will continue to try until it does work." Zelas tapped her foot against the floor, a new cigarette brought to her painted lips. "Now, again."

For a few precious seconds, Filia's hands closed painfully tight around the chopsticks, contemplating the idea of murder by hair accessory before tossing the now broken sticks aside with a snarl. Forcing her palms out once again, Filia focused her attention on the air above them, trying to calm her irate breathing, as she struggled to remember the advice (taunting) Zelas had offered her earlier. Breathe. Focus. Feel the energy within. Now, grasp and—

"Light!" Filia was quickly beginning to hate the seemingly simple word, her eyes narrowing as once again light refused to appear within her grasp. "ARGH!"

Blowing out a complicated series of smoky shapes, Zelas tapped ash onto the ground. "You're not trying hard enough. You have to focus or," she strode forward, one hand rapping none-so-gently against Filia's temple, "is your little brain not capable of such a simple action?"

Gritting her teeth, Filia ducked away from the teacher's hands, rubbing at her head with a scowl. "I am focusing! You're not teaching it right!"

Instead of growing angry, Zelas merely shrugged, "Maybe. Now, try it again."

Growling, Filia held her hands out stiffly, taking in a deep breath–forcing her face to become serene and composed despite the anger growing inside her. Slowly, she began to breathe more easily, body relaxing as she counted mentally to herself, striving to ignore the nauseating presence of her 'mentor'. She just had to focus... Heat... She could remember the feel of heat... Heat every time right before something terrible happened... But nothing terrible would happen this time... If she just concentrated, the heat would build and there would be a nice, tiny, bouncing ball of light...

Just a nice, simple Lighting spell...

Squeezing her eyes shut, Filia licked her lips, reaching into herself for that strange core of magic... She could feel the heat–the fiery presence lurking within herself, darting just out of her grasp... She couldn't take hold of the actual core, but perhaps...maybe just a thread... Clenching her teeth, Filia focused on the growing heat, felt it slowly climb up her feet—this wasn't like before, where the heat came suddenly and blinding, but a slow, agonizing crawl that made her bones ache...

But just a little more... If she just...

There.

Filia's eyes snapped open, her voice loud and clear in the small room, "Light!"

Across the room, Zelas perked with interest, having felt the slow, steady buildup of magic in the air. She waited expectantly for the tiny ball of light to bloom within Filia's hands...

And waited... And waited...

Zelas blinked as a sudden wave of confusion and fear rushed over her, glancing toward the metal door and the world that lay outside before turning her attention once again toward the light-less Filia.

"AAAHHHHHHHH!" Filia grasped handfuls of her long, blonde hair, wishing it was another blonde's hair she held so firmly. "It's not working!"

Calmly running a hand through her own blonde locks, Zelas waved her cigarette nonchalantly, "It does seem to appear that way, doesn't it?" She pushed the metal door open, ignoring the incredulous look sent her way by the screaming girl. Outside, the teacher stretched languorously, "What tiresome work."

Filia slammed the metal shut, wrinkling her nose as the older woman stretched out across the black couch, her already scandalous skirt arching even higher, as she kicked one leg up and down. "Have you no shame!"

Zelas opened one eye at the girl, grinning cheekily, "No, not really, but it is a delicious emotion. Just a tad spicy."

"Hmph!" Turning away, Filia scouted the room for something more interesting than her less than appropriate mentor. However, a quick glance revealed a significant lack of family photos or sentimental knick-knacks, unlike the office she had viewed upon her first meeting with Zelas Metallium. Wandering, Filia grazed her fingers against the few Victorian decorations, ignoring the beady eyes boring into her back. Suddenly, Filia's fingers halted over a seemingly simple ceramic vase, her eyes peering at the pretty decoration.

It seemed simple enough–its design neat and fluid, the glass smooth and pleasant under her fingertips. She ran a finger along its length, eyes squinting as she lifted the delicate vase, bringing it closer to her curious eyes. The vase was made from the most brilliant violet glass that shimmered in the faint light, but if she peered close enough she could see a very fine layer of gold... Almost invisible to the naked eye, except when held in just the right light... Then, the vase was a chaotic swirl of violets and golds, twisting and twirling around each other...

"Like it?" Filia jerked, eyes wide as Zelas stepped beside her, the girl having not even heard the other woman leave the couch.

Not finding anything in the woman's statement unkind or baiting, Filia merely nodded, strangely sad to hand the decoration over. "It's very beautiful. Was it a gift?"

Zelas smiled, cool and mocking, "Something like that." Her eyes were beady and calculating as she peered at Filia over the violet glass, "It's my son's... Some fond keepsake of his, but it does look so nice in here, don't you think?" Filia wasn't sure what reaction Zelas was looking for, but whatever she saw seemed to please the older woman. "It's very old. The crafter was an expert at her art, but there are so very few pieces remaining in the world."

A cold, icy finger seemed to trail up Filia's spine, "Oh..." She could feel a dark cloud hovering over her as she watched Zelas's red lips widen, that tricky little grin reminding her of dark, dangerous paths—Filia had the overwhelming feeling she had managed to walk into a trap and she had no idea how to escape...

"Yes. See?" She turned the vase over, revealing its bottom to the girl, "Her initials are still visible."

F. C.

The air was heavy and thick—unable to fit into her mouth, her lungs pleading for oxygen, but finding no relief... Filia clawed at the sudden darkness overwhelming her, mouth opening in a soundless scream—it surrounded her and cloaked her and it would take her–she knew that with sudden clarity. This dark, evil cloud of 'knowing' would sink into her pores, tear at her soul, and leave nothing behind. She would lose herself. She _was _losing herself. She was falling and falling and falling—

And then she wasn't.

Filia gasped, eyes shooting open, as she found her sudden descent halted—staring wide-eyed into Zelas's amused features. "Feeling a bit faint, dear?" Zelas seemed to peer over Filia's head, smiling darkly, "How terribly fortunate you came by."

Filia tensed, eyes glancing down at the strange gloved hands holding her close, realizing she was slumped against someone warm and solid... "Uh..." Legs still shaky, Filia could only twist in her rescuer's arms, a strand of violet hair grazing against her cheek, as she peered into her rescuer's face...

Long, silky strands of violet hair... Pale handsome features... And lips quirked forever in a maddening, mysterious smile...

Xelloss Metallium stared into her white face, watching as the blood drained from Filia's features, his voice cheerful, "Very fortunate, indeed, mother." He grinned, opening his amethyst colored eyes, "Very fortunate, indeed."

* * *

Ta-da! And onto the reviewer commenty thing 

Mistress DragonFlame— Sadly, Filia's reaction to Xelloss will have to wait, but at least he's finally shown up! And yes, a writer's love is a fickle thing—I just can't seem to stop messing with poor Fi-chan's head :P But, alas, that's the curse a beloved character must face and I can only hope this chapter was worth waiting for!

Soobin----Blush Thank ya ever so much! Your comments really mean a lot to me, especially your reassurances about Lina–hopefully, I did her justice in this chapter, too crosses fingers And I gotta let Filia get a little happiness in–over time, she'll steadily become more and more like her old self. And the Xelloss-bashing was one of my favorite scenes to write, especially Amelia's part in it, so I'm glad ya liked!

Lady Dark Angel—Look! Xelloss! Well, kinda...but at least he's finally shown up and will now be a front row player in the fic And I always felt sorry for Sylphiel during the shows, she's a really strong character, but tends to get pushed aside by the overwhelming presence of ppl like Lina, but you're right–her and Gourry not nearly as compatible as Lina/Gourry. And Xelloss is ALWAYS trouble

encyser—Thank you very much for commenting and I'm glad you like the fic so far However, ya brought up an issue that I guess needs addressing—The occasional references to the gang as "former priestess" or "chimera" are entirely intentional. While, Filia may not completely recognize the others and vice versa, the others do remember much of their "past lives"—they just don't remember everything and, as such, are in a lot of ways still the roles of their previous days. I'd go on, but I'm afraid I might start giving away major plot points—I can only say that the reference to who they once were is necessary, in my opinion, and yes, eventually Filia will be referred to as "the dragon"–but I assure you, its all part of the story. I can only hope ya understand and continue reading, but I'm afraid its not something I can change. Thank you again for the comment!


	6. Fate

Disclaimer: Don't own Slayers or any of its characters

A/N--Short chapter! Sorry, but I just couldn't seem to make it any longer! Also, not proofread---hopefully will fix any mistakes later tonight, so please ignore till then--I don't have an A drive on my comp so I can only update this on the school comps, so I'm kinda in a rush! Sorry!

Reality and Madness, Illusion and Sanity

Chapter Six

_Annoying laughter, high-pitched and grating, floated on the air. A gloved finger waved back and forth in front of her face, smiling lips mocking her, "Now, that is a secret!"_

_Dark, glittering eyes followed her–hungry and cunning..._

_Butter-soft gloves ran up her arm, a silky voice whispering low in her ear, "That's the Filia I know..." _

Filia's pupils dilated, sweat beading her temple, as she took in a shaky breath of air–unable to look anywhere, but into those glimmering amethyst eyes, so like Zelas's and yet completely different... Holding a completely different level of intelligence, of power... The voices murmured low and distant, overcome by the pounding of her wild heart... She gasped, as one glove encased hand seemed to tighten its hold on her, fingers grazing the cloth just beneath her chest...

Then just as abruptly as he'd caught her, the man released her.

Yelping, Filia rubbed her sore bottom, glaring up at the two Metalliums looming over her. Those startling amethyst eyes disappeared, as he rubbed his arm with a feigned look of pain. "You really ought to look into losing some weight, Miss!" At her outraged look, cruel, annoying laughter filled the air—the sound like nails against a chalkboard to the blonde.

Blue eyes narrowed, fire blazing inside Filia's gaze, form trembling, as she stood–one finger pointing accusingly at the snickering man. "You–you–you! How could you just drop a woman like that? And say such a horrible thing! You rude, arrogant–."

Zelas smirked, watching the scene with growing amusement. "You really shouldn't comment on a woman's weight, dear. It's terribly unoriginal."

Xelloss ducked his head slightly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck shamefully, "Of course, mother. I'll keep that in mind."

Filia's eyes darted back and forth between the two, growing more and more irritated, "Of course, he's your son! You both REEK!" Grasping her arms, Filia shuddered at the waves of revulsion rolling over her, turning slightly green at the twisting, swirling nausea gripping her stomach.

"Now, that seems uncalled for." Xelloss turned toward the blonde, arching an eyebrow at her actions. "We haven't even been properly introduced."

"Oh, where are my manners?" Despite the words, Zelas didn't seem very concerned, instead developing a dark, dangerous purr to her tone. "Xelloss, meet my new student, Filia _Ryo_. Filia, my son, Xelloss Metallium. I'm sure you two have a lot in common." Red lips stretched into a predatory grin, red tipped nails running gently along the vase's rim. "She was just admiring your little relic, Xelloss. Isn't that interesting?"

"I was doing no such thing!" Filia snapped, hair flying through the air, nearly slapping the priest, as she stormed toward the door. "You," she shoved a finger in Zelas's direction, pausing by the now open door, her other hand gripping the knob in a painfully tight grasp, "are a horrible teacher! And you," now she jabbed it at Xelloss, ignoring the twitch beginning to form over his right eye, "don't know how to treat a lady!"

"Eh...?" Xelloss opened one eye, turning his nose up slightly at the raging female's antics, "What lady? Surely, you can't be talking about yourself! Someone so rude and childish wouldn't know the first thing about being a lady." Laughter—mocking and grating at her sensitive ears—poured from the purple haired man's lips causing the blonde to see red, as she snarled at the cackling priest.

"YOU—YOU—NAMAGOMI!" And with that, she swung the door shut, her angry footsteps resounding down the hall...

Leaving behind a twitching Xelloss, his smile slipping at the sudden insult. "N-n-namagomi?"

Warm, deep laughter broke across the shocked demon, his gaze turning toward his chuckling mistress–watching warily, as she draped herself across the couch, grinning widely at his annoyed face. "She's got spirit! Though, considering what happened the last time, I really shouldn't be surprised..." Her grin faded into a satisfied smirk, one hand reaching out, a wineglass seeming to appear out of thin air. "I wasn't expecting you to appear so soon..."

Xelloss kneeled, the act seeming out of place with his modern ensemble of dress shirt and black slacks. For the briefest of seconds, Zelas considered ordering him to resume his former outfit, but decided against it... Such fond clinging to the past would not do for the moment–maybe later... when there was a certain blonde student available to see... Wickedly curious, Zelas wondered what sort of reaction that would drag from the former dragon and filed the idea away for another day and time.

Unaware of his mistress's thoughts, Xelloss merely smiled, the act bordering on impish, "If my lady wishes, I will leave."

Zelas frowned, "Oh, don't be an idiot." She brought the fragile glass to her lips, sighing contentedly as the aged wine slid down her throat. Her eyes closed, savoring the flavor, before settling into a disappointed frown, "Nothing quite compares to Zephilian wine... Such a pity..." Glittering, mazoku eyes opened, peering at her kneeling servant, "So, what do you think of my new student? She's quite the feast, isn't she?" There was something predatory about the way Zelas watched Xelloss's composed features, a cruel twist to her lips, as she sought any sign of weakness in her general-priest.

If Xelloss was surprised by the question, he didn't show it. "Powerful, but woefully untrained." His smile grew, dark and hungry, "Much destructive possibilities."

"Yes, though she can't even conjure a simple lighting spell." Zelas leaned back, eyes focused on the ceiling, "What a pity." She watched him from the corner of her eye, "You two were quite charming together." From her tone, Xelloss was unsure if she spoke of now or before...

This time, she caught the faintest of twitches, his smile faltering, "If my lady thinks, then it must be so."

Suspicious eyes watched the priest, seeking for any sign, any clue to the priest's thoughts... She found nothing and, not for the first time, Zelas wished she hadn't taught him so well.

"Why are you here, Xelloss?"

Blinking at the sudden change in subject, Xelloss quickly composed himself—used to his mistress's sudden mood swings. "I felt a disturbance, Mistress."

"Disturbance?" Demon eyes peered into the darkness surrounding them, "I thought I felt something in the other _students_... "

Head bowed, staring into the hard floor, Xelloss nodded slightly, "A power surge disrupted the building's electricity." He glanced up, a sheepish smile adorning his lips, "I'm afraid the power is out in every room, but this one."

Zelas arched an eyebrow, turning her attention toward the kneeling demon, "A power shortage? That's why you appeared before me?"

"Not a normal shortage, mistress." Amethyst eyes opened, meeting her gaze, "A spell of such intensity that it overpowered the entire city; a mere lighting spell so powerful it overcame technology, casting the entire city in a blinding light that shattered the weak glass bulbs the humans rely on." His smile reappeared, "It oriented from this room, my lady."

Zelas feigned disinterest, "Oh? Well, I'm sure the students can manage." She waved a hand at his kneeling form, "You're dismissed."

Not one to disobey orders, Xelloss faded, leaving the former Beast Mistress to lean back, eyes staring into the simple glass of dark wine. "She has a hold on you, even after all this time... I can feel it..." Dark, burgundy liquid swirled gently within the fragile glass, Zelas's eyes narrowing slightly. "I wonder..."

Then, slowly, the mazoku lord grinned, "This should be fun..."

* * *

Peering into the dark hallway, Filia scowled, blood still boiling from her encounter with the Metallium family... "Just perfect..." Her anger had failed to abate, especially when she discovered the power outage encompassing the entire school–something the other students easily dealt with by casting a few simple lighting spells, while she... while she... 

"ARGH!" Filia slammed into her second table, grumbling at the stationary furniture. Of all the things to happen after her failed lesson with the demon-woman, wandering around in an unfamiliar place with absolutely no light source was not her idea of a good time... Reaching out blindly, Filia ran a hand along the wall, blinking her eyes rapidly, as she tried to adjust to the darkness. It had to be close to supper time, if it hadn't already passed, and a nice cup of tea was the one thing that might soothe her frazzled nerves.

Gritting her teeth, Filia struggled not to think about the smirking Zelas and her smiling son. She had never felt so irrationally angry in her entire life! It was, as if, the combined presence of both Metalliums had stolen every ounce of sense and manners from her mind... Zelas was bad enough, but then that horrible son of hers...

Flames flickered around the snarling blonde—she had never met anyone that crawled under her skin quite like the man known as Xelloss. Just a second in the same room with him and she felt like a completely different person, overcome with wild, angry emotions! One look in his smiling face and she'd felt—rage, fear, betrayal.

Longing...

Snarling, Filia swung her hand at the wall, oblivious to the sound of crumbling wood, storming from the baseball sized hole. She felt stressed and overwhelmed–her emotions overpowering all common sense, even that dark cloud of depression that had followed her since her short stay in that horrible, oppressive hospital... Before all that chaos, she had tended to lead a calm, peaceful life—occasionally her temper had created problems, but nothing uncontrollable... Her teachers had described her as level-headed and focused, an A plus student with so much potential... Student government, prom committee, choir, tutoring—she'd been heavily involved in every influential organization, focused on making something out of herself–focused on making her family and teachers proud...

And then...

_Smoke in her lungs, ash clogging the air, and the sound of her brother's voice–frantic and wild. "FILIA! FILIA! FILIA!"_

Barely avoiding another table collision, Filia sighed, leaning against the heavy furniture–eyes seeking something beyond vague shapes and shadows in the dark hall. Even now, she couldn't remember... Couldn't remember anything, but the feel of heat running up and down her body, burning within her hands and then the pain... That explosion behind her eyes, knocking her to the kitchen floor...

And then... something soft and light grazing her skin, strong arms lifting her from the floor, and the illusion of charcoal wings... Before realizing she was outside, coughing and spluttering in Val's arms–staring wide-eyed and confused, as their house burned in the distance...

That day, that horrible day... It had seemed so normal, like any other day... A friend had dropped her off, laughing and waving, as she drove away... And Filia could remember entering the two-story house, mail clutched in her hands, sifting through the thick envelopes for anything of interest and then...

Flames...

Shaking her head, Filia forced the memory from her mind–trying to remember what had happened that day had been the cause of all her pain... If it were only the fire, that strange odd fire everyone had blamed on her, then life might have resumed some sort of normalcy... But the doctors hadn't believed her... Had felt something must have pushed her, something important must have happened to create such blatant destruction...

If they had only minded their own business! If they had only left her mind alone! She could have handled the pain, the physical suffering was something she could distance herself from... But it was hard to escape when people were rummaging through one's mind, quiet voices whispering in her ear, drugs running through her veins, meaningless questions she barely understood spoken at a distance...

The fire had been the first manifestation of the migraines... That horrible, blinding pain... But it was only after the doctors began to play their strange, little mind-games that the voices had appeared...

She would never forgive them... Never, never, never...

"_Forgive him! Are you mad! Look at me! How could I ever forgive him!"_

"_I do look at you... All the time... I know what he did was horrible, Mister Zelgadiss, but I can't help but think..." Soft blue eyes shone with the shimmer of tears, delicate fingers running along smooth, gray pebbles, "We would never have met had Rezo not changed you... And while, I do feel for you—knowing how very much you wish for your cure–I cannot regret the circumstances that brought us together..."_

Filia blinked, gazing back and forth down the hall, the voices soft and quiet, but so familiar that she couldn't be sure they came from her mind or the shadows around her... Yet, the hall was silent... Leaving her to ponder the odd conversation—why did the voices mimic the students? Why did a conversation she'd never heard seem so familiar? The words...felt right... Now, that she had faces to go along with the voices... There was an odd quality to the voices... Something that had been missing...

If she closed her eyes and focused, she could almost see the quiet stone man and raven-haired girl... Standing beside a small pond, the moon shining brilliantly overhead... The chimera covered in layers of tan cloth, a sword hanging at his waist–his eyes wide and startled, as he stared into Amelia's calm features... A strange white outfit enclosed the girl, her gaze tender, as she pressed a small, delicate hand against the chimera's cheek... And Filia felt like an intruder, her feet carrying her as quickly and quietly away from the private scene as possible...

"So..." Filia opened her eyes, the odd, dream-like scene fading with the act, "Real... Like remembering a scene from a movie..."

But that was impossible... She had only met the two students... And she had definitely never been to a forest area like that! And she would have remembered seeing someone dressed like Amelia–for that matter, she most definitely would remember seeing someone like Zelgadiss!

Impossible! A person couldn't have memories that never happened...

Which only further supported her theory of her growing insanity...

"All the money this place makes and they can't afford decent lighting!" Someone huffed, annoyance heavy in their tone, "Light!" Filia squinted at the sudden brilliance, watching as the tiny ball darted down the hall, pausing over her head. Ahead, Lina grinned, one hand on her hip, "Hey, Filia! Need some help?"

"Oh, Miss Lina!" Filia smiled, greatly relieved to finally be able to see her way clearly, "Thank you very much!"

Lina scoffed, tossing her hair in a devil-may-care way—secretly pleased at the admiring tone in the blonde's voice. "It's nothing. After all, I am the greatest sorceress to have ever lived!" She winked, catching the slightly disbelieving look flash across Filia's face. The redhead motioned slightly and the ball of light zipped back toward her open palm, "If you don't believe me, then I guess you can just figure your own way to the second floor."

"Miss Lina!" Filia stumbled after the smaller girl, "Miss Lina, don't leave me! Please!"

That flashy grin reappeared, "Well, since you asked so nicely." She slowed slightly, allowing the blonde to walk beside her, the bouncing light spell illuminating the path.

"That was cruel, Miss Lina..." There was a slight whine to Filia's tone–the words unbidden, falling from her lips before her mind could fully comprehend their meaning. She blinked, slightly shocked, hand raising to cover her disobedient mouth. "I–I–."

But Lina just shrugged, "Sometimes." She glanced up at the taller girl, eyes glimmering with mischief, "Depends on what the situation calls for—and the outcome, of course." Lina shifted slightly, arms arching to rest behind her head, "So, long session? Zelas give ya hell?"

Filia sniffed, looking away, nose shoved haughtily in the air, "Those Metalliums are horrid! I don't see how anyone here can associate with them! It's disgraceful!"

Lina arched an eyebrow, "Met Xelloss, huh? Yeah, he's a bastard, but he's got his uses... Annoying little sucker, though... Did he give you his trademark line, yet? I swear," a tiny, yet powerful fist slammed into the redhead's other hand, eyes narrowing dangerously, "just thinking about it makes me wanna cream him!"

"I'm afraid I couldn't tell you, Miss Lina. The whole incident was so horrible, so utterly revolting, that I can't remember a thing, but his idiotic, smiling face!" Fire flared in the blonde's eyes, Lina pausing to watch as Filia's hands clenched at her sides, the girl leaning slightly forward, eyes focused on some imaginary foe. "Just thinking about him gives me the creeps! I've never met someone so utterly, positively DISGUSTING!" Huffing, the blonde screeched, throwing her head back with an angry yell—her shoulder blades twitching and itching, the skin seeming to crawl...

"Yeah, I kinda figured you two wouldn't get along."

"Huh...?" The anger deflated from the blonde, leaving her blinking and confused, as the redhead continued down the hall–ignoring Filia's short temper tantrum. "But... Why would you say that, Miss Lina?"

Lina just flashed the girl a mysterious grin, "Call it woman's intuition." The two paused before the first set of stairs, Lina's lips twisting into a frown, "Too many stairs... They really ought to put in an elevator...Stupid lights... A nice levitation spell is what this calls for..." The redhead scowled, as she started up the steps, oblivious to the confused dragon priestess trailing behind her.

"A levitation spell? You mean, flying!" There was an excitement in the other girl's voice that pulled at Lina's attention, the redhead blanching slightly at the awed, dreamy expression on Filia's face—the air positively sparkled around the enthusiastic blonde.

"Yeah... I guess you really don't have any idea about anything, do you?"

The dreamy expression faded, the blonde adopting a slightly put off look, "I know a lot about a lot of things, Miss Lina!"

Lina waved a hand, not really caring to hear what the other girl thought she might know, "I meant about spells. You don't know anything about spells... A levitation spell is kinda like flying, but more like walking on air than anything... I would levitate up the stairs, but it's impossible for a sorceress to use more than two spells at a time. Thus, the walking..."

Filia shot the little glowing ball of light a glance, "But... Isn't that only one spell, Miss Lina?"

The redhead flushed, ducking her head slightly in an uncharacteristic gesture, "Another lesson about sorcery... Women can't use it...during that time...of the month... My magic's weakening... By tomorrow, I'll be hard pressed to cast even a simple lighting spell..."

Blushing slightly, Filia nodded, filing the information away, "I didn't know... There's so much I don't know..." The blonde glanced away, sad and forlorn—mind heavy with the knowledge of how much she still had to learn... Suddenly, Zelas's talk of years of training didn't seem so far-fetched...

However, Lina didn't seem quite so concerned, "You never know," she smiled, catching the blonde's eye, "you might surprise yourself. There's no telling what might be hidden in that brain of yours."

Hidden... Like voices belonging to people she'd only just met? Like dreams of a completely different world with a completely different her?

Filia opened her mouth, a hundred questions on the tip of her tongue, but the two had reached the second floor and Lina was already jogging up the third set. Twisting slightly, as she ran, "You can make it from here, can't you?" Lina didn't wait for an answer, never faltering in her step, "See ya tomorrow!"

And Filia was left alone in the darkness again...

Blinking, Filia stared down the long, dark hall—completely confused about which door was hers.

"Miss Lina!"

* * *

It took two tries before she was able to find her room—one door had been locked, the other belonging to a surprised, half-naked chimera, who after much blushing and stammering had offered her a quick lighting spell, nearly running from her once they reached her room... Slightly dazed, Filia entered the dark bedroom, feeling around for her bed, throwing herself on the fluffy furniture once she found it. 

Fidgeting, Filia frowned at the sound of paper crinkling, fingers digging under her back, pulling out what appeared to be a simple manilla envelope. "A letter... For me?" Squinting, Filia pulled the envelope as close to her eyes as possible, barely making out her name written messily and familiarly across the surface... Unbidden, a sharp gasp broke past her lips, a hand seeming to reach into her chest and grab her heart...

Clutching the letter, Filia laid back, eyes staring unseeingly straight ahead–tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Val..."

* * *

Val Ryo pushed dark sunglasses down, peering into the disappearing sun with a lazy frown. He leaned against the hood of his car, the club's loud, pounding music washing over him, eyes narrowing slightly as a group of drunken teens nearly stumbled into him–golden eyes flashing, causing the kids to jump and scatter. Rolling his eyes, the green-haired man shoved the sunglasses back up, oddly able to see clearly even with the additional darkness... 

The stars were beginning to show their faces, slightly visible beyond the purple rays of the sun... His frown turned into a scowl–he hated the color purple... Pissed him off...

Turning from the sight with a slight growl, he threw the car door open, climbing into the seat–hands clenching the steering wheel in a painfully tight grasp. Breathing heavily, Val forced his eyes to shut, mentally counting backwards... Slowly, the anger faded, leaving him only slightly annoyed and tired. When he'd been younger, some whacko psychiatrist had offered the technique, as a solution for his occasional outbursts of rage. Back in those days, he'd been the problem child, always getting into fights over the stupidest disagreements—sullen and angry, as he sat in the therapist's office, barely listening and offering intelligent words like, "Screw you," and "Fuck off", whenever the mood hit...

There had been only one thing capable of calming him down... A gentle pair of tear-filled blue eyes... A sweet, quiet voice whispering his name... Even back then, he'd felt uncontrollably protective of his younger sister, bending to her will at the slightest of gestures... Wanting so badly to see her smile and be happy... He'd spoiled her, but it had been alright... It had felt _right _to spoil her... They'd been close growing up... Closer than most siblings their ages, closer than most friends sometimes...

All his life, Val could only remember feeling fear on two occasions... Once when driving home, flames in the distance and the knowledge that she was inside—unconscious and dying... That insane fear of losing her...

Val didn't like being afraid...and he hated the idea of losing the people he cared about even more... He couldn't stand to lose another person... Not again... Not after...

Val swerved, barely missing an oncoming vehicle, cursing as he jumped the curb before finally pulling back onto the road–ignoring the angry honks from the disappearing car. Idiot! The last thing he needed to do was get himself killed in some stupid car crash! That would really help the family right now... Their parents were already stressed enough without him adding more... The whole family was struggling to get through each day, trying so hard to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary... That Filia wasn't miles away... Hidden inside a school specifically created for training the Touched–those odd individuals that exhibited powers beyond normal human conception...

He sighed, pulling into his apartment's lot, parking slightly crooked, but not really caring. When they'd been younger, they had sometimes played fantastical games of make-believe... Full of magic and dragons and queens and knights... He could remember spreading his arms, running across the grass, eyes closed as he pretended to fly... And sometimes... Sometimes his feet didn't seem to quite touch the ground... Sometimes, he could almost feel the flap of invisible wings...

And there had been moments... When the air had sparked with something foreign and beautiful–Filia's hands reaching out toward distant, dancing balls of light... But it had been only illusion, a child's fancy creating a different world with different rules... Except...

Maybe it hadn't been... Maybe she'd lifted him from the ground... Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Maybe if he'd stayed home that day... Maybe if his parents had listened before... Maybe if she hadn't been sent to those lunatic doctors... Maybe then... she'd be the same... Maybe then, she'd look at him like she used to–eyes glowing, lips smiling...

"Damn it!" Val punched at the wall, sunglasses clattering to the ground, as brick crumbled around his fist, his eyes angry and wild and lost. "I should've gone for her sooner! I should've never let them take her! Damn!"

But he'd let them take her... He'd watched her leave... And when the time came, when he finally did storm through the guards and doctors, his fist slamming into skin and bone with a sickeningly pleasing sound, it had been too late... He'd waited too long... He was always too late! Always a step behind! Never there when they needed him! He'd failed again! Just like before, just like Ga—

"Hey! Shut up down there! People are trying to sleep!" A sleep tousled head peered out a third story window, eyes glaring blearily down at the green haired youth... Eyes widening in horror at the cold, dark golden stare sent from below, bloodlust growing in the air—the unfortunate neighbor scuttled backwards, slamming the window shut with a bang–anything to escape that dark, angry glare promising violence and pain...

The night seemed to unfurl around the young man, ragged breaths tearing into the silence...

Ten.

"_Big Brother! Big Brother! Come play with me!"_

Nine.

"_Good morning, Valterria! Do you want eggs or pancakes?"_

Eight.

"_Please! Please, Valgaav, stop this_!"

Seven.

"_So... You've still got some fight left in you... That's good. You'll need it, boy."_

Six.

"_We've got a lot in common, you and I... Both wanted dead by our own kinds."_

Five.

"_I've come here to offer you a choice, Valgaav. Join the monster race and I'll personally kill Lina Inverse for you."_

Four.

"_Don't be shy, Val! Come meet, Auntie Lina!"_

Three.

"_Val! Lift me higher!"_

Two.

"_Whoever thought we'd be fighting side by side. Life's funny, huh?"_

One.

"_Please..Don't forget me..."_

Val slumped forward, rubbing his head wearily... The memories were becoming stronger, more insistent... It wasn't an unusual occurrence—ever since he'd been little, he'd lived a life half in the here and half in the before... Never quite able to grasp the whole picture, just fragments of old memories, old lives full of old friends and old enemies... He'd long made his peace with the odd phenomenon, kept his mouth shut, refusing to let anyone know about the odd memories of a life he could never have lived... Usually, the memories kept their distance, only appearing when he slept... But now...

They were becoming stronger with Filia gone... It was, as if, she had worked as a balm for the strange memories–soothing them away, a force of light to beat away the darkness he knew lurked somewhere inside of him... He needed his sister... He needed Filia...

Or else, he feared, the entire world might suffer...

* * *

Shoulders heavy, Val dragged his feet toward his apartment door, another night of questions awaiting his tired mind... Completely oblivious to the fluttering black feathers raining against broken concrete... 

Lady Dark Angel---Yes! Xelloss! And look, hissy Filia! So, yeah, not nearly as an exciting first meeting as expected, but trust me, it gets a lot wilder in following chapters  And now that Xelloss is around, he's gonna be showing up a lot in the next chapters. Hope their meeting didn't disappoint too much!

Encyser---How good are you! Ya just keep picking up on those little plot-twists ;P Yes, Gourry's "magical" classes are somewhat in the dark at the moment, but all will be explained—promise! And Faves! Thank you so much! And thanks for pointing out the grammar mistake—it's all fixed now, and I'm sure this chapter is full of them, I haven't proofread again

Valk--- Thanks! I kinda feel bad cause everyone was looking so forward to Xelloss's introduction, but he really hasn't gotten a chance to really shine yet. But I promise he'll be making a lot more appearances in the next chapter.

Betsy---Hopefully his entrance wasn't too bad---Xelloss is a tricky character for me to write. I really appreciate all your kind words, especially the worth waiting for—I tend to be horrible at updates, so I'm glad to hear that hasn't turned ya off completely.

Mistress DragonFlame---Yay for angry Filia—taking out her anger on helpless doorknobs and walls ;P and the vase thing, you are eerily close to a scene happening later on---so be on the lookout  And your comments are always appreciated---how could I not like hearing from someone who shares my slightly sadistic love for Filia? She's just so easy to angst.

Nicci Rockdad---Your favorite! You can't see me, but I'm doing my ridiculous happy dance, completely with random squees ;P

Soobin---As always your comments mean so much to me! I'm glad you think I'm still doing a good job with the characters, especially Zelas—she's a lot of fun to write, so evil and manipulative, but at the same time not entirely bad. And Gourry! He make act like a dumb log half the time, but I suspect he's got a pretty good understanding of danger when he sees it  Thank ya! And I can't wait for that chapter!

Minty Fresh Shock---ack! I've done it again, eh? The sad thing this time was I actually had the chapter written for awhile, but me new comp. doesn't have a floppy drive, so I've been kinda at a loss. Thankfully, though, I've somewhat gotten around the prob. AND! If life's willing, I will try to get the next chapter out sometime next week---Hopefully! Even though no new characters are introduced, maybe it'll make up for this one taking so long. Anywho, thank ya, thank ya, thank ya! So glad my procrastination hasn't made ya give up on this fic :P

Tedabug---Hee, don't worry about reviewing them all—I'm just thrilled ya reviewed at all! And wow, you're gonna make me blush! Thank you for your comments and I hope this chapter suits your standards!


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